Keeping on

Im not sure how I can endure this latest down. I feel so angry after several weeks of feeling good to be landed back in the depths. Like all the good stuff never happened.
Its so unfair-why do i have to put up with this anxiety and gloom? What have I done wrong that I am not able to maintain my stability? So much for pills and positive thoughts and gratitude.
Thanks to my DS friends for their kind comments.
I am sorry for Ivan to have gloomy girlfriend around again. I feel so useless.
I have to battle on any way so I need to focus on the positives in my situation: nice home, nice boyfriend, nice dog, doable job...
Can't be bothered writing-that's the time I should write it out maybe but I have nothing new to say-just I feel bad, I feel bored, I feel depressed, Ill never feel better again etc.
I will feel better again. I will! In the wink of an eye it will all switch the other way.
I just have to live through these days weeks months. And I will.  Ive had maybe 20 ups and downs so no doubt 21 will come. Just hang on to hope. The funny thing is that nothing changes in my reality-just the mood switches. Why is this so?
I need to look forward to things, like my Christmas holiday. going to Blonde's on Sunday-means a short week next week.
Maybe its no big deal, like Ivan says-it is what it is. Sore foot, boring week with not much going on....
i am determined to feel better. So there. Reinterpret what is going on. It is just another day. Which will come to an end. Just enjoy what is to be enjoyed. And not react to the rest of it.



i missed a couple of journal entries, but will catch up and u best be ready to wright my good friend

Hi Dinah! :) super big comforting hugs. :) we are keeping you very close within our hearts, and in our thoughts and prayers, wishing you comfort, healing, and peace. :) We hope and pray, that you feel much better, very soon. :) i\'m so sorry you aren\'t feeling well. we are here for you angel, and always will be. :) You\'re gonna make it through this rough time, and you have a wonderful holiday season to look forward too celebrating with your family and friends. :) we hope you all enjoy decorating for Christmas. :) keep strong. :)

life will get better. dont give up