Keeping On

I am having a tough time the last few days.
Since my mood went down again after 3 weeks of upness the last week or so has seen me downer in the morning and not reaching the peak of 7 to 8 that I had been.
I don't know why. Just suddenly run out of things to do and think. I still expect and hope for things to be on a good wave, and when things settle down to an average level I feel disappointed. What is average to feel? What is normal to feel?
Am I below normal- or is it the contrast with the high feelings?
Why can't I just take it as it comes? Why cant I just accept whatever the day gives me? Why do I expect to feel good and feel like hell if and when I don't?
I can only hope that the wheel will go round again soon and put me back on the uppity part of my cycle.
Meanwhile we did walk Arnie today, and I need to celebrate this...would I have gone if Ivan hadn't come too I wonder. But he did thank goodness, and i feel the better for it.
I seem to have dropped a kilo since yesterday somehow, which is good. I expect it to fluctuate but that feels like a good start. Being overweight weighs heavy on me -pardon pun- and I said "being" not "feeling". Ivan is so encouraging and is giving me meals that are cooperative to a diet. Just had a salad sandwich. Yum!
What else is new? The weather today is sunny and warm-moving into summer.
We just had a look at a tree which fell across the garden. Saw the roots upended in the rough area between us and the neighbours. Saw a bushrat running along the tree trunk...Arnie didn't seem to know what he was supposed to do! Ivan chased it under the steps and put down a trap, just in case he took up residenc e in our belongings under the house.
It's just the way it is, it is these sorts of events that make up most people's days.
What else can I say? I need to keep my attention in the moment, and not dread the future. I need to savour the present-things like how my fingers do the typing for me...and my  breath comes in and out, and my back holds me up. I need to appreciate everthing that comes my way.
Like making big savings on my pay.
No more new to be said-I think this is about 300 words
 
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Another day, another dollar. For some, it is a dollar earned; for me, it is a dollar spent. Keep on going! Life is just full of these small heroic events!