Keeping my promise - this time

Ok - First I have to start by saying: I feel super guilty about a Vit. K binge last night - Ugh im so not looking forward to getting my INR checked on Monday. ( maybee if I have a few drinks it will even out by then ) My last INR was 1.9 which isnt horrible but still not "theraputic" so I had no right to have a binge on veggie sushi - spring rolls - salad - tempura veggies - and green tea ice cream.... oh Im going to pay for this on monday I know it... I guess Im really bad at maintaining my K - I just binge out on it and that why my inr is haywire but im going to do my best to drink some wine over the weekend and stuff lets hope that monday its not below 1.9 at least or Ill get yelled at for my sushi sins.  Does anyone find it like rediculous that we are more worried about eating leafy greens then shoving a candy bar down our throat? I feel quilty eating a freakin salad not a cookie isnt that ass-backwards??? Anyways - done venting and guilt-tripping! So as I have promised myself many times - many many many many many times - I am going to get in shape and loose weight. But this time its for health reasons not appearance. I started using my treadmill on monday. I was a little impressed with myself bc I was feeling dead at work and somehow my promise held strong and though i was rather zombified i hopped on the treatmill for 15 minutes and managed to run for about 2 min. My legs ached and felt like they were gunna fall off but it almost was a good feeling. Yesterday after work I walk/ran ( for a few min ) a 20 min mile, and though thats not something to be bragging about I find it very exiting that i can do a 20 min mile with everything that ive been through!  Im hoping to build up the time rather then the speed though bc I usted to do 4 miles in 45 minutes and I was happy with that and i was loosing weight so Im hoping to get to that point. Thinking of purchasing some 1-2 lbs dumbells for my arms while im walking, I never much focused on my arms but for some reason my arms and shoulders got hit the worse with atrophy so they get sore really easy.  I feel good being on my treadmill again - I felt nice to exhert myself without pain!!! Well let me elebarate - my legs were killing me but hey my chest didnt hurt woohoo.  I feel determined I havnt felt like this in soo long. I have made myself this promise so many times - so many resolutions passed - but I think this time Im gunna do it. You know when your dying to order that huge hunk of chocolate cake at a restaraunt and then the person your with says " go ahead you only live once" I am applying this to my health instead - I think yes I only live once, so wouldnt I want to be healthy and happy. I am unhappy with my body the way it is now - I feel like clothing hugs my fat and I feel gross - now granted Ive always had crappy self esteem when I was thin I liked myself much better I was tons more confident and much more happy! So now more then ever I want to stop wasting years not doing something bc I have nothing to wear, or feeling self concious in social situation. Jeez, I forget what its like to put on a pair of pants and actually like how they fit me 8(! Anyways - Im here and im gunna do something about it bc "I only have 1 life to live" - well this of course depends on your spiritual beliefs bc hey maybee someday I'll come back as a squirel or a pencil eraser but hey whatever. So i monitored my heart rate with my new handy-dandy watch my gf got me for xmas: Fast paced walking puts me at: 125-140Running puts me at: 160-175 Pretty normal according to my research. I looked up how to get your target "fat burning" heart rate which is determined by your max heartrate which is 220 minus your age: 220 - 21 = 199 so at 199 is my optimum fat burning heartrate which makes me feel much better bc when I jump rope it goes up to about 175-185 which kinda scared me, I thought it might crap out on me but come to find out people aspire to get their heart rate that high in order to efficiently burn fat. Jeez, just goes to show I really didnt pay attention to anything much about my body before this, bc even though I usted to work out prior to my pe, I never payed any attention to my heartrate resting or active or any of that lol.  So I have opened the door to this weight loose project and theres no closing it now -