keeping at it

hello journal,    well today has still been a little strange, the attack has left me feeling uncomfortable with my surroundings again so i suppose its back to getting into a routine that makes me feel safe......its wierd, you only get one life and i would want mine to be full of travel and learning but i feel as if these attacks are holding me back and everytime i go to push the boundries i end up back on my arse........the only time i feel comfortable and 'happy' is when i am in a routine......shitty or what?????