keeping at it

hello journal,    well today has still been a little strange, the attack has left me feeling uncomfortable with my surroundings again so i suppose its back to getting into a routine that makes me feel safe......its wierd, you only get one life and i would want mine to be full of travel and learning but i feel as if these attacks are holding me back and everytime i go to push the boundries i end up back on my arse........the only time i feel comfortable and 'happy' is when i am in a routine......shitty or what?????

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deleted_user
deleted_user

YES ITS ME AGIAN. IT IS A SHITTY FEELING, BUT THAT IS YOUR COMFORT ZONE. IF SOMEONE TRIES TO THROW YOU A CURVE BALL, YOU MAY NOT FEEL IN CONTROLE, AND FOR ME THAT SETS ME OFF. I AM A TRUE BELIEVER THAT PEOPLE THAT SUFFER FROM ANXIETY OR PANIC, HAVE A TYPE A PESONALITY. WHICH EVERYTHING HAS TO GO AS SUCH FOR US, OR WE ARE, OK, CAN I SAY PISSEY. WHEN I WORKED I KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING TO BE WEARING THE NEXT DAY AND IT WAS LAYED OUT. ALSO WHAT MY LUNCH WOULD CONSIST OF. OH AND GOD FORBID IF I WOKE UP LATE, I JUST WOULDN\'T GO IN. BUT REMEMBER SWEETIE WE CAN\'T CONTROLE SOME OF OUR SURROUNDINGS. SO WE HAVE TO GO OUT AND LET THE THINGS GO THAT WE CAN\'T CONTROLE, AND ENJOY THE THINGS IN LIFE THAT MAKE US HAPPY. SORRY TO CARRY ON AGIAN. YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL TUESDAY, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO GET EM. CHAT LATER SWEETIE, AND GOD BLESS.