Keep trying?
So what happens when you are the only one trying? What happens when you know he loves you but is complacent. You are there and he knows you are not leacving but you want more. Can you ask for that? Knowing how busy he is with meetings, classes, projects, work, and the newest video game.
The other day we spoke on the phone for an hour about life and how we felt about therapy and other topics. It was like a high for me. I heard no clacking of key in the background and I knew he was walking somewhere so my time was limited. I get tired of getting cut off in convos bc he talks to me on the ways to meetings and classes....I'm the 7 minute gap that fills that void.....7 muntes.....I send so many texts and articles I think he'll like in a row. My phone looks like I stalk him bc it's mainly just me texting him. I remeber when he use t text me ALL DAY...
But it's been a year, I guess the "Magic" has worn off for him. Kinda sucks bc I get a high from trying. Supporting him and telling him how great he is. But then the crash from that when it is not recipricated is earth shattering. Makes me not want to try anymore...I look toward the future. We will live in the same state in July...I hate this. And I wish I could be the bitch who says " YOu don't pay me enough mind. You don't dote on me, your not trying!!" when I know that i am not the important thing right now. I feel like I can just juglle more than he can. I go to school too, I work full time too, I have TWO kids and he has none. I guess our priorities are different.
When we are in the same state we are good. I don't need constant text thru the day or good night smiles. BC he's there....but when communication is all you have shouln't that be importnat? He's satisifiwed with one phone call a day and I'm tired of it. I really am I need more. But i'm not the bitch to say it, bc I'm supporting him right now
The other day we spoke on the phone for an hour about life and how we felt about therapy and other topics. It was like a high for me. I heard no clacking of key in the background and I knew he was walking somewhere so my time was limited. I get tired of getting cut off in convos bc he talks to me on the ways to meetings and classes....I'm the 7 minute gap that fills that void.....7 muntes.....I send so many texts and articles I think he'll like in a row. My phone looks like I stalk him bc it's mainly just me texting him. I remeber when he use t text me ALL DAY...
But it's been a year, I guess the "Magic" has worn off for him. Kinda sucks bc I get a high from trying. Supporting him and telling him how great he is. But then the crash from that when it is not recipricated is earth shattering. Makes me not want to try anymore...I look toward the future. We will live in the same state in July...I hate this. And I wish I could be the bitch who says " YOu don't pay me enough mind. You don't dote on me, your not trying!!" when I know that i am not the important thing right now. I feel like I can just juglle more than he can. I go to school too, I work full time too, I have TWO kids and he has none. I guess our priorities are different.
When we are in the same state we are good. I don't need constant text thru the day or good night smiles. BC he's there....but when communication is all you have shouln't that be importnat? He's satisifiwed with one phone call a day and I'm tired of it. I really am I need more. But i'm not the bitch to say it, bc I'm supporting him right now
Replies
I see what the problem is...you\'re giving so much to get so little. You invested so much into him and you wouldn\'t want all this you build for him to go away.
I think without talking relationship will go away. He is basically slipping away...he used to text you all day, despite all the busy times he had. And I know you want to be less needy and not expect him to text you more or talk with you more every day but truth is...you do want that, you do need that to function. You got used of it, used of his presencee and used of his love for you. Did you ever consider having Skype video chat with him? Maybe that would help you because you would have more interaction from him...not just from voice but also from face expression, his immidiate reactions you\'re familiar with and that are lost in texting, and that are plain, simple and come out without too much control. I think that may help...a little bit. Distance is hard but that\'s not excuse to give up. Only problem is ..it takes two to not give up. I wonder if he would care if you wouldn\'t call/text him for one day...it would tell you a lot. You are the main support to this relationship, otherwise it would be gone by now. You withstand all this pain and invest so much more because he\'s investing too little. I\'m so sorry for you...I was in similar sitautions in past...distance relationships when one is not in balance of supporting relationship...showing interest... doing as much as other person....that\'s so hard...if you feel like your relationship is getting worse.. facing your love one with reality may help....or you may try to wait until you meet again and hopefully that will restore your relationships glory and power. But it\'s worrysome that you can never speak with him about everything that you want to speak about....you are always under time pressure....but if he can find time for video games...he should find at least hour or two time in row for you. At least once per week...maybe try to arrange that....you obviously know him more than I do but....that\'s what I would try to do... be super respectful to him and tell him:\" sweety listen...I need talk with you unlimited (or few hours) at least for one day per week....i have so many things to say to you and if I don\'t say them ..if we run out of time... I feel disconnected...time goes by and those thing don\'t stay on my mind...they go away...I want to feel like im experiencing life with you, I don\'t want to feel that our experiences are differenting so much...and are so disconnecting one with another. To be together is to live life one with another...even if there is distance. Please give me two hours me one day of week and let\'s just talk about everything...I want to hear from you more...because I love you. I want to be included in your life.. \"
Maybe tone down a notch your messages too. He can\'t miss you if you are surrounding him even when he\'s not even trying...
wish you well