Keep moving forward

5 months and I am dealing with things a lot better than before. Yes I still have my moments where I completely loose  it and bawl my head off, mostly during the holidays when there are lots of kids around. I saw a Therapist last month who told me to just get out there and face things head on, stop hiding out at home and get out there around pregnant women and babies cause they are not going to go away just because I am hurting. so I left his office and spent an excruciating hour in the baby department of Zellers, and then I did it again and again, until it got easier. i took up my favorite hobby once again of Photography and it's helped to distract me and remember that there is still beauty in the world not just loss and sorrow.
I applied for a job and just got news today that I got it, it's only a stepping stone being a mediocre job in a dollar store but it's work, something that I haven't done in several years since being home with my 7yr old. I joined a dance class two months ago and made a few new friends there who have helped to boost my spirits, belly dance and Yoga can do that lol. We are blessed enough to have access to our cousins little one, a little boy name William who was born two weeks before Jeremy. He has been a little bit of both pain and at the same time Therapy for me. Holding him, kissing him and enjoying every minute that we get to spend with him helps.
So we're just taking things one day at a time... things do get easier.