Karma
Back to work today following a week long staycation. I was hoping that the time away from work would prove to me either way what I need to do for my body but it has not proven anything. I feel just as lousy as I did when I first started staycation. Of course, just as any typical mother of three, my staycation was anything but. My kids wanted to be on the go the entire time. We spent some time at the pool. I had a funeral to attend last week for my aunt and family in from South Carolina and Florida to attend that and I got the chance to visit with.
While visiting with family, I got a lot of questions about my health. Questions about how I get through my day without giving up. Questions about how my diseases have changed my life. They knew from communicating with my mom that I was having some problems with my health but had no idea how bad it has gotten. While standing in the cemetary, some could see the struggle I was facing just standing on uneven ground. One asked me where I got the strength and courage to leave my home. The question was posed just before the funeral ceremony and I felt it innapropriate to make any negative comments about my health condition when my uncle was burrying his wife. I smile and said "one day at a time".
We had a cook-out at my uncle's house on Friday before some family returned to their respective states. I met up with family I have not seen in years. My aunt from South Carolina has a daughter my age and a son 2 years younger. I don't know why, but I felt very comfortable talking with her about things than anyone else. Somehow we got onto the subject of reincarnation and Karma. I firmly believe in both. She told me she believes in them as well, which I found interesting because she is a tried and true Roman Catholic. I didn't think that Catholic's believed in reincarnation. I thought they all believed in Heaven and Hell. I explained to her why I turned away from Catholicism and the belief in one all-powerful, loving being. She understood (which is more than I can say for my mom and dad). Anyways, we talked about some books we are reading and she told me about a book that researched near-death experiences and past-life regression therapy. I ordered the book yesterday!! I have always felt that my disease is Karma for something I have done wrong. A couple years ago, when my disease started to get bad, I went back to people from my past that I hurt and appologized and tried to make ammends.
I thought if I could find that one bad thing that I did to cause me to get this disease, I would start to heal. I have been searching for a couple years for that one bad deed and have not found it. My aunt mentioned that it may not be something I did in this life but in my past life and that if I could figure out what that was, I would start to feel better. Now I just have to figure it out. Wouldn't that be nice if that was the key to cure a disease(s) that modern science can't find a cure for???
While visiting with family, I got a lot of questions about my health. Questions about how I get through my day without giving up. Questions about how my diseases have changed my life. They knew from communicating with my mom that I was having some problems with my health but had no idea how bad it has gotten. While standing in the cemetary, some could see the struggle I was facing just standing on uneven ground. One asked me where I got the strength and courage to leave my home. The question was posed just before the funeral ceremony and I felt it innapropriate to make any negative comments about my health condition when my uncle was burrying his wife. I smile and said "one day at a time".
We had a cook-out at my uncle's house on Friday before some family returned to their respective states. I met up with family I have not seen in years. My aunt from South Carolina has a daughter my age and a son 2 years younger. I don't know why, but I felt very comfortable talking with her about things than anyone else. Somehow we got onto the subject of reincarnation and Karma. I firmly believe in both. She told me she believes in them as well, which I found interesting because she is a tried and true Roman Catholic. I didn't think that Catholic's believed in reincarnation. I thought they all believed in Heaven and Hell. I explained to her why I turned away from Catholicism and the belief in one all-powerful, loving being. She understood (which is more than I can say for my mom and dad). Anyways, we talked about some books we are reading and she told me about a book that researched near-death experiences and past-life regression therapy. I ordered the book yesterday!! I have always felt that my disease is Karma for something I have done wrong. A couple years ago, when my disease started to get bad, I went back to people from my past that I hurt and appologized and tried to make ammends.
I thought if I could find that one bad thing that I did to cause me to get this disease, I would start to heal. I have been searching for a couple years for that one bad deed and have not found it. My aunt mentioned that it may not be something I did in this life but in my past life and that if I could figure out what that was, I would start to feel better. Now I just have to figure it out. Wouldn't that be nice if that was the key to cure a disease(s) that modern science can't find a cure for???
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