Justice!??? WTF!?

It has been over a week since the travisty called justice left me yet again without my due process.  I am stuck in a legal limbo unable to break free to have a relationship of anykind with my children.  The best I could do is leave a b-day message from my boy on his birthday.  He was out of town but got when he got back i am sure he got it.  I have been unable to arrange anything with my lawyer this week because he has been wrapped up in court.  It is so sad to think that the state will be so quick to take away parental rights but will take there sweet time in giving them back.  If I were to give up and walk away from all of this I would be the bad guy.  My x is free to leave the kids with whoever she wants, bring whoever she wants around them and I ..... I have been marginalized by the system.  Oh dont get me wrong......my money is still good.  I would love to be able to take a vacation, or atleast a two day break but work is my only way of surviving.  Not time to go out if I could.  No one really to go out with.  I use to think I may have had a lot to offer but not anymore.  I am not down on myself just a little more realistic about the world and the motives of people around me.  Maybe I am in an alcohol induced coma and none of the is real except maybe the coma.  It cant be alchol since I have not had a drink since 2/21/08.  I just pray that my kids are safe and they are happy with or without me.  There is really not much else I can do at this point that I have not done already.  I do hope some day that the kids understand that dad was sent away and that he was kept away and not by his choice. Wish me luck with my sales!!!  I need 8 units to keep my job and I only have 1 car out.  If I lose this job I am beaten.  Oh btw, this is my second job!!  I need both now to survive......lousy teacher pay.