Just when you think...
Yesterday was an alright day, but as the day wore on tears just kept creeping from my eyes. I wasn't sure just what was going on. My oldest grandson and I went to Barnes and Noble bookstore and out to eat after church. We both talked about his Daddy and got a little teary eyed. I picked up my youngest grandson after a birthday party and we all went to my house and played and watched TV. After their Mom picked them up I just kept missing Clinton more and more. I have been doing really well for quite a while and wondered why it was bothering me so much and so consistently yesterday. After going to bed and writing in my journal I finally realized it was the 21st...2 years and 9 months since Clinton's accident. Even as time begins to soothe my aching heart, sorrow sneaks up behind me and taps me on the shoulder to remind me that there is still a Clinton-shaped hole in my heart.
I gently cried myself to sleep last night but woke up feeling okay about life again. I remember all the times my crying was so devastatingly heartwrenching and almost physically unbearable. I remember when each day there was great despair and overwhelming sadness all day long. I would have never believed then that time and understanding friends would help to heal the horrible wound that had been inflicted on my heart and my very being. It is a battle I have fought and will continue to fight as long as God wants me to remain here on this earth...His plans are greater than mine. I will continue to fight this battle to honor the life of my precious son and the love we had and still have for each other.
I write this journal entry in thanks to all the precious Mother's here who have helped and continue to help me on this journey. I also write this journal entry as encouragement to the Mother's who don't believe that they will ever be able to get past the all consuming grief of losing their precious child. Don't close yourself off from the beauty and peace that life still has for you. You would want that for your child if you were the one gone and believe me, your child wants that for you too.
I don't love my son any less nor do I miss him any less than I did 2 years and 9 months ago, but I am able to walk more upright through this journey as time continues on. Love, peace and hugs to you all...Lynn
I gently cried myself to sleep last night but woke up feeling okay about life again. I remember all the times my crying was so devastatingly heartwrenching and almost physically unbearable. I remember when each day there was great despair and overwhelming sadness all day long. I would have never believed then that time and understanding friends would help to heal the horrible wound that had been inflicted on my heart and my very being. It is a battle I have fought and will continue to fight as long as God wants me to remain here on this earth...His plans are greater than mine. I will continue to fight this battle to honor the life of my precious son and the love we had and still have for each other.
I write this journal entry in thanks to all the precious Mother's here who have helped and continue to help me on this journey. I also write this journal entry as encouragement to the Mother's who don't believe that they will ever be able to get past the all consuming grief of losing their precious child. Don't close yourself off from the beauty and peace that life still has for you. You would want that for your child if you were the one gone and believe me, your child wants that for you too.
I don't love my son any less nor do I miss him any less than I did 2 years and 9 months ago, but I am able to walk more upright through this journey as time continues on. Love, peace and hugs to you all...Lynn
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