Just want to be happy

I just want to be happy. Im so tired of being stressed out, warn down and lonely all the time. I have three kids. My 7 year old son has severe ADHD and ODD. I have ADHD as well. I wondered all my life why I felt so different, why people thought I was weird when I was just being me and being real. I had people tell me so much that I was weird that I just learned to become very introverted and laid back. I Deeply suppressed the real me to stop people from calling me weird and to be able to keep friends. So much so that a lot of people have no clue I even have ADHD. I get very easily offended  and hurt. So it was just easier to become a quite home body to avoid being hurt or called weird or having to try so hard to get along with people. So when I met my husband I was the quiet laid back person and now 11 years later im tired of hiding who I really am, but everytime I let a little of the real me out he doesn't like it, he gets rude. For instance music, we have totally different tastes in music, I don't criticize his music and rudely ask him to turn it off like he does me. I have so much running through my head right now Im not sure if what im saying is even making sense or how to get it all out in the right order so it does make sense. I just need a break. My husband works a swing shift and pretty much works and sleeps all the time so I feel like a single mother, but when he is home and awake he messes up our routine by trying to actually parent our kids every once in a while and we have totally different styles of parenting. He thinks ADHD is a joke and medicine isn't necessary. He doesn't think I have ADHD he thinks im just lazy. I have a problem with clutter and cluttering up surfaces like our counters and table. Im trying really hard to de-clutter our house and stop putting everything on the counters and table I really am. He doesn't see how hard I try and gets irritated with me and is just rude and degrading which makes me just want to give up. I wish I could just snap my fingers mine and my sons ADHD would go away. Its such a pain. Struggling everyday just to do normal things. Somethings gotta give before I completely loose my mind!