Just want my divorce...

So I had to go to him yesterday to request an advance on spousal support to see me til the end of school. That was extremely difficult for me to do.He has been threatening me with taking me to court for this & taking me to court for that since Christmas time & in my email, I mentioned going for more spousal support when he drags me to court. I was not confrontational in the least & had already told him this back in January that this was my intentions but for whatever reason, it took him by surprise,We ended up speaking on the phone for the first time in months & it was actually semi civil. I'm not sure how the past got brought up but I was asking him questions & he would give an answer.. I still don't believe him though. I asked him when he had actually met his OW & he is still adamant it was right after we stopped "dating" eachother in December of '07. Things do not add up though... there is too many things that he did or said long before that that still point to him having an affair. He asked my why he would lie to me, what reason he would have.. well, the fact that he is asking the courts to allow him to take our daughter to South Africa... doesn't put him in a good light to show he was a cheat & liar. The fact that he so values his so-called "integrity" & would lose face to many friends as well as his family & the fact that he would never want our daughter to see him in such a light or know that he did this to our family & it wasn't really ALL my fault... yeah.. I still believe he is lying. I would love to be able to lie detector him so that I would know once & for all if I was actually crazy & imagining things.... But who goes from a 10 year marriage & telling his wife how much he still loves her right into the next full fledged relationship... Nothing makes sense & I still don't have the answers...I despise the fact that everything still bothers me nearly 2 years after the fact & I despise the fact that it all still can hurt so much....