Just waiting on my moment

Its just me and my husband. How we long to hear little “pitter patter” terrorizing the house:) B/c we don’t have any yet, it bothers me when people mistreat their kids. Im 30 and my husband is 34, we have been married 3yrs. I sit and often wonder what would they be like, who would they look like, what would their personality be like. I even think about showers, birthdays, celebrations in the backyard, holidays and list goes on and on. I feel one of my callings in life is to be a mother. I feel until that happens, I am just existing and g oing through the motions. Apart of me has a longing and feel incomplete. When it happens, it will be nothing short of a miracle. And all miracles and good things comes from above. I’m just waiting on that moment. I long to feel life grow inside me. With both miscarriages I conceived in the fall. Next week will hopefully be my missed period. I am no longer experience cramps on my left side. And normally by now I am having more period-like cramps .Not having those either. Just trying to stay hopeful and listen to my body. I am also not feeling well. Ironically w/ my other pregnancies that I lost was sick around the same time. Hope that is not linked to my losses. I am taking as many natural remedies and rest as possible. The journey continues and if I keep going I believe will be worth it. I just got to find the strength to keep going.