just waiting

Well, My grandmother has been home for some time now. The rehab didn't go as expected. We thought that she would get over the UTI and gain her strength back and be stronger than she was before, but it was the opposite. She was doing good in rehab for a few days, but then she just started getting weaker. She started refusing to eat or drink, so they had to put an iv in her. When she was about to come home, they wanted to put an iv in her, but she was so dehydrated that her veins had collapsed. She was unable to stand at all, so they brought her home in a wheel chair in the back of a van. Hospice is helping us now. They brought out a hospital bed. Its definitely an adjustment having to change diapers in the bed instead of just taking her to the bathroom and using pull ups. She doesn't eat solid foods anymore. We just give her boost or ensure or sometimes she wants sweet tea. She has a couple of bed sores. One seems to be healing pretty well, but the bath lady told me that the one above her rectum might become a hole. I don't really know what that means, but I know its not good. I feel helpless at this point. I feel bad for complaining about having to wake up in the middle of the night to take her to the bathroom. I wish that she was like she was before. My dad has already started preparing for the funeral, the slide show, what she is going to wear, ect.. I just don't like that because he is acting like she is already dead. He rarely even visits her or my grandpa, it seems like he would want to spend as much time as he could with her. I don't know. I guess everyone handles it differently. They're interview on t.v aired last night, so hopefully people will call and visit more often. That is when i really see my grandmother the way she used to be. This couple came by about a week ago, I think they were preachers, but she had an accordion that she borrowed from my grandpa, and they sang and she played the accordion. My grandma was the happiest that i had seen her since she came home. She really needs that. They have the purest love that I have ever seen. They have been married for 65 years and they are still crazy about each other. Anyways, I hope everyone had a happy valentines day. I know i don't get on here that much, but I really do appreciate everyone's support and encouragement. Thank You! It makes hard times easier knowing you aren't the only one going through it.