Just Venting

So everyone is having these beautiful relationships and having children (I don't want children) I wanna be able to experience sex with a partner I can trust without fear or the need to always have a condom available Damn I know that's selfish and perhaps irresponsible but it would be so nice to feel the person who you love without anything blocking the actual feeling of skin, both parties being totally honest and monogamous, I wanna taste his nutt and Know it isn't tainted , I wanna taste his ass and trust it's safe I wanna feel him inside me and allow the natural progression of releasing not having to pull out, but I can't and sometimes it just doesn't seem fair,