Just tired of this life!
I have been down and depressed hundreds of times before, and always managed to get through it. But this time I'm in drifting sand: the more I try to get out, the deeper I sink! For many weeks now I only have 2 emotions: crying and fighting. I'm tired of this life, and honestly wish that my life can be over soon. I won't do anything stupid, because Colleen needs me so much. At the moment I feel like a disgrace to myself and my 2 older children. I often don't bother to get out of my pajamas or comb my hair. What the hell for, anyway? Worst of all, I feel that I'm failing God!
I'm just so tired, and don't have the will to fight this anymore.
I'm just so tired, and don't have the will to fight this anymore.
Replies
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. You have a reason to get up, get dressed, comb your hair. The reason is YOU. Doing these things will make you feel better. I know what I am talking about. It keeps your mind busy and on happier thoughts. I really doubt your children think of you as a disgrace. You are a wonderul, loving and caring MOM.
I do not like seeing you put yourself down. You are too good of a person and have been such a good friend to me. Grab my hand and I will help you through this deep dark period of your life. Gentle huggs and lots of love xoxoxoxo
I wish I could just reach out my hand and pull you out of that drifting sand and give you a big hug. I know how difficult caregiving can be and understand much of what you are experiencing. As sweetsherri suggested, get dressed, comb your hair. Also put on some make up, give yourself a smile in the mirror, and tell yourself that today is going to be a better day. Depression is very difficult to fight, and with 24/7 caregiving piled on, you may want to consider some professional help and perhaps some temporary medication to get you out of that hole. Failing God?? With all you do and all your sacrifice for Colleen, you aren\'t failing God, you\'re an Angel. I suspect your older children see you in the same light. Write me a message and use my shoulders to vent and cry on. As with all your friends, I\'m hear to help. Lots of hugs, Dan
Severe dpression somtimes requires medication to get \"over the hump\" in life. I am a caregiver to my husband who \"out of the blue\" suffered a major stroke last Nov. We have lost our home due to lack of funds. I ask my doctor for some medication because I could not afford to \"spiral down\". My husband was depending on me. Just something to think about...
It is impossible to let down our God who loves us. He has said that he will never leave nor forsake us. Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. John 16:22 Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
Sending Blessings,
Willow
Thank you all for understanding! Knowing that there are actually people who care and accept me just as I am, means very much to me. Maybe it is time that I start to spoil myself a little. Willow, I will write these Bible verses down and paste them on the wall next to my bed, and I will hold onto these promises from God! Thank you all for reassuring me that I am \"good enough\"!!