just thoughts

Feeling a strong sense of whether negative background environments are more appealing to those driven by what some may  call narcissism,  whilst others may call searching for ones dis identification of their own self.
To be driven to gain the psychological value of respect from those driven by an environment that would be...sadistic would be too strong, but negative none the less. 
To gain this value is beyond measures of who put you on earth, but who was this reflection, form of body and keeper of this being. Gaining the respect from those who give rarely. However only by becoming a chameleon to their world keeps one licking their lips for a little bit more of this value being stored away with its keeper. Unfortunately the best one can get of that value is looking at their reflection and the keeper will give out the respect it wants according to it's own choosings. 
There is a controller of the mind,  but why are some kept so hidden from the conscious mind?