Just the beginning....
My first entry may be a long one... this whole week has been long...
Although, the week before it was long as well. Two weeks ago I think I finally had a breakthrough in coming to terms with my alcoholism. Now don't get me wrong, I have long since accepted that I am an alcoholic but I don't believe I ever fully understood the disease. In fact, I never saw it for a disease at all, until a long and wonderful talk with a coworker. This event set forth a whirlwind of buried thoughts, feelings and a period of self revelation, if you will. It just confirmed that I need to stay on this journey of mine to "becoming sober".
On top of all the ensuing emotions surrounding this, I was just diagnosed with PCOS. That explains the few years with a couple different partners with no pregnancies. And the weight gain. Going 11 months with no period. The every day shaving of areas you just know most women don't have to worry about. And the depression, anxiety. Maybe even the smaller things like my dandruff. So many things make sense know, and that's the most valuable thing, the knowledge. Knowledge really is Power. But it is also testing on someone's already fragile emotional state. A hormonal imbalance, add in a mix of liquor and that's just a recipe for disaster with this kind of knowledge. It can almost be too much sometimes, but being a very optimistic person (for the most part) I am determined to focus on the solutions to these problems. I need to start this much needed lifestyle change now. While im still young, before things get much worse...
Im going to quit smoking, drinking, and just about completely changing my eating habits all at the same time. To anyone who has read this far, im curious if you think this may be too much for one person to handle?
That's all for now..
Although, the week before it was long as well. Two weeks ago I think I finally had a breakthrough in coming to terms with my alcoholism. Now don't get me wrong, I have long since accepted that I am an alcoholic but I don't believe I ever fully understood the disease. In fact, I never saw it for a disease at all, until a long and wonderful talk with a coworker. This event set forth a whirlwind of buried thoughts, feelings and a period of self revelation, if you will. It just confirmed that I need to stay on this journey of mine to "becoming sober".
On top of all the ensuing emotions surrounding this, I was just diagnosed with PCOS. That explains the few years with a couple different partners with no pregnancies. And the weight gain. Going 11 months with no period. The every day shaving of areas you just know most women don't have to worry about. And the depression, anxiety. Maybe even the smaller things like my dandruff. So many things make sense know, and that's the most valuable thing, the knowledge. Knowledge really is Power. But it is also testing on someone's already fragile emotional state. A hormonal imbalance, add in a mix of liquor and that's just a recipe for disaster with this kind of knowledge. It can almost be too much sometimes, but being a very optimistic person (for the most part) I am determined to focus on the solutions to these problems. I need to start this much needed lifestyle change now. While im still young, before things get much worse...
Im going to quit smoking, drinking, and just about completely changing my eating habits all at the same time. To anyone who has read this far, im curious if you think this may be too much for one person to handle?
That's all for now..
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