Just some thoughts

I sit here thinking. I have not come to the site for a few months. My husband is still drinking and so much more has gone on. He started talking to an old friend from high school on facebook. He sent the first message to her. It started out fairly innocent and turned quickly into some very sexual comments from him to her while he was drinking. They also talked many times on the phone. I stumbled across his IM on facebook and confronted him. Had I not I truly believe they would have met in person and something else would be going on right now. In a way I think this was a wake up call for us both. I know that he has said he just wants affection from me and he apologized and has said he is trying to quit drinking. I don't know for sure. Another issue is that his long term drinking (and probably smoking) has effected his ability to keep an erection when we are trying to have sex. To be honest, we have not actually had sex since I was pregnant 2 years ago. We have done other things, but not much. I have been very upset about the drinking and then just worried about how it might hurt since it has been so long has really got in the way. So we have tried to do some things but each time it comes to actually having intercourse he can't do it. I know that I am kind of cringing in dread and it probably messes with his mind and that doesn't help, but I think the biggest problem is the alcohol. I have asked him to talk to his doctor about both the drinking and the ED issues. I don't know if he will. He told me he talked to her about the drinking earlier this year but I think he was lying. I contacted her office to see if I could email her my concerns so that when he goes next week she will at least know what is going on. Well, because I am not on his form as approved to talk to her, she can't discuss the issues with me. I can write down my concerns and mail them to her office which she can then use to do some leading questions. I am afraid mailing it to her that it will end up in a nurses hands and I really don't want it known to anyone but the doctor. So I am kind of stuck on what to do. Sigh. I hope that the incident with the girl will be enough to bring us back together and help him quit his bad habits, but I just don't know.