Just sighing today
Its been awhile I have been here just so busy. Mom 89 now may have to have another tumor removed but with her age and heart a big ??? So I go and take care of her lawn when shes at my sisters in Seattle. With working it takes a lot of traveling and extra time.
Now I am facing loss of my horses. One very old arthritic other injury unknownst how or when and what it is. Very costly to find out and than fixable a big ??? They have been my pals and what I love so this summer making that final decision I just hate it.
Work is work must be done. Its ok but I miss having someone to do things with. Went down to local establishment to listen to our local favorite band sat alone was lonely. There were our old couples friends gees ya would think they would have come over to say hi or ask me to sit with them after all we use to go down with them all the time. I have malaria I guess. I wish I did than I would understand.
I still hate being alone not that living alone is bad I do ok but loneliness without anyone or nothing all the time sucks. I hate having all the things to do financially with one income the big jobs are so expense to get one and some things physically I can not do.
I am a cat lady now. WIth Kate's dying wish I took in her two cats so had 3. Than Pumpkin shows up dripping wet and crying. Was going to find him a home but darn he kept the other two from beating up my old cat and great mouser. SO NOW Snickers came from my Grandson who is trying to make it on his own. Age 12 usually just in a room as dad was allergic he gets to run around in my home and go outside. His first catch of a rodent in his life. SO I guess he is mine but a big bully so gets put in his place by others....they have had to work it out. SO with all I feel like THE CAT LADY. If I start hoarding someone needs to just burying me....so sigh thats my life
Now I am facing loss of my horses. One very old arthritic other injury unknownst how or when and what it is. Very costly to find out and than fixable a big ??? They have been my pals and what I love so this summer making that final decision I just hate it.
Work is work must be done. Its ok but I miss having someone to do things with. Went down to local establishment to listen to our local favorite band sat alone was lonely. There were our old couples friends gees ya would think they would have come over to say hi or ask me to sit with them after all we use to go down with them all the time. I have malaria I guess. I wish I did than I would understand.
I still hate being alone not that living alone is bad I do ok but loneliness without anyone or nothing all the time sucks. I hate having all the things to do financially with one income the big jobs are so expense to get one and some things physically I can not do.
I am a cat lady now. WIth Kate's dying wish I took in her two cats so had 3. Than Pumpkin shows up dripping wet and crying. Was going to find him a home but darn he kept the other two from beating up my old cat and great mouser. SO NOW Snickers came from my Grandson who is trying to make it on his own. Age 12 usually just in a room as dad was allergic he gets to run around in my home and go outside. His first catch of a rodent in his life. SO I guess he is mine but a big bully so gets put in his place by others....they have had to work it out. SO with all I feel like THE CAT LADY. If I start hoarding someone needs to just burying me....so sigh thats my life
Replies
I sure can relate to your journal entry. I work all week and spend the weekends alone. It\'s really hard. I miss my husband so much. At almost 2 years it seems like it\'s getting harder. People move on with their lives and we sit here alone. I also live in the country, so I am very isolated. Took a walk by myself today just to get out of the house. Talked to a friend that I\'ve tried to make plans with who\'s always busy, and she seemed surprised that I\'m lonely. People just don\'t get it. Shame on your friends who left you sitting there alone! I\'m really stunned at how people have behaved since I\'ve become a widow. Take Care....wishing you better days ahead. Lori
I know your feelings so well. Lost my husband 18 months ago then my lovely daughter Easter day this year. Sobbing. I am selling our large home and moving into a condo...alone. I am so tired of being lonely and alone. Funny how friends change after you lose your mate, not a good thing either. I wish you well. I haven\'t been on in a while. Just so depressed, sad, lonely and unhappy. Take care. Linda