Just shutting down.
I just turned into a horrible person, so it is best that I keep my big mouth shut and stay away from society. What I don't understand, is how some people are placed on a pedestal because the whole world respects them as outspoken people. Yet others, like me, are condemned each time I open my mouth! Why?!!!
I am so sick of hearing "Keep quiet!", "Keep your mouth shut!", "Stay out of it!" Being physically pushed and shaken around by black security people is apparently what I deserved. Being laughed at in my face, and told not to make my problem his problem, by a big black manager, is also apparently okay. Because who the hell am I anyway!!! Because apparently I was undermining authority just because they are black!!!
I know that God is in full control, and that everything happens for a reason. I accept the fact that I don't need to understand anything! Yes, maybe things will work out for the best......... But the best for who? Will God also find me digusting, repulsive and unacceptable? Maybe I have become a toxic person, and need to stay the hell away from all the perfect members of this world!!!
I am so sick of hearing "Keep quiet!", "Keep your mouth shut!", "Stay out of it!" Being physically pushed and shaken around by black security people is apparently what I deserved. Being laughed at in my face, and told not to make my problem his problem, by a big black manager, is also apparently okay. Because who the hell am I anyway!!! Because apparently I was undermining authority just because they are black!!!
I know that God is in full control, and that everything happens for a reason. I accept the fact that I don't need to understand anything! Yes, maybe things will work out for the best......... But the best for who? Will God also find me digusting, repulsive and unacceptable? Maybe I have become a toxic person, and need to stay the hell away from all the perfect members of this world!!!
Replies
You are not a horrible person. I don\'t know what happened but nobody deserves to be told to \"Keep your mouth shut\' or to be pushed and shaken around by anybody.
Hang in my friend.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
Andelene, you have been through so much lately. It is time for you to take care of you! I am so sorry this has all been so rough. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sweet lady, nobody deserves to be treated like that. I hate that you are having to deal with this. Hoping things get better quickly. Hugs, Paula
Andelene, You are not horrible! You have just had too much to deal with. I wish you could just be heard and not have people in charge make it about race.
Be gentle on yourself. God loves you - He made you in His image.
Gentle hugs, Linda
This is unacceptable treatment of another human being and you keep BEing YOU however that looks and feels.
Please do not give up hope and trust that this is a purposeful Universe and not a hostile, chaotic one even though I know everything you are dealing with does not make you feel that way. YOU are not alone and matter dear friend. I\'m just so terribly sorry...
Loving care to enfold and support you,
XO Joanie
This is so wrong on every level. I wish you could have some peace and know the vibes of love coming to you. Hugs, Kathy
I was thinking of you and this post last night... I was having a crisis of the nerves so to speak... Poor Richard... I cried and ranted for over an hour... There\'s nothing he can do about the fact that I take things so to heart... a friend recently told me to try not to take it personally... but honestly... I do take people being unkind and thoughtless too personally... sometimes I just don\'t know how to handle it... I\'m so grateful for Richard... and I feel almost guilty to say that to you because I know you\'re alone... I know sometimes you have to wish for someone to hold you when you cry as the song says... I just want you to know I think about you and I really do get it. Hugs ... Elissa
Dear Andelene, You are not horrible! You\'re going through so much!
My heart goes out to you((((Hugs)))) I am always here for you!
Sending comforting Hugs and lots of Love...Maria
You are one of the sweetie people on earth honey, don\'t shut down.I love you !
((((HUG))))