Just Rambling

Hello- What a weekend!! I was totally exhausted all weekend! I really felt my age, I'm not sure if the heat had anything to do with it. Boy did I feel like crap! On Sunday I broke down and took 1/2 of Vicoden for pain. My back was killing me along with my knees, ankles, and hips. I was so nervous that I was doing more damage to my liver. The doctor did give me permission to take pain meds if I needed them, so I shouldn't really be so freaked out. But I am. One week from tomorrow I will be going for my biopsy, a part of me wants it to come tomorrow and a part of me wants it to never come. Not only am I afraid of the procedure but I'm afraid of the results. I don't want to do treatment for anything. I've been reading different posts on this site and it's scaring the heck out of me. And the thought of putting my body through that to potentially not respond, doesn't set well with me. I just wish this would all go away!! I'm so glad that I found this site to help me with understanding my illness, but the site also provides a lot of scary information as well. Sometimes I just feel that if I stop visiting the site it will all go away. But the logical part of me knows that it will not go away. I have started a new chapter in my life and this site will be part of that chapter. I have to learn to take what I need and leave the rest. I also think that if I reach out to help more I will experience greater satisfaction and fullfilment. I know I'm rambling. Lisa