Just putting my thoughts in print.
First I want to thank God that I found this site. If I'm ever going to find the emotional help I need
to deal with my son's drug addiction it will probably be here. I thank all of you for sharing your experiences with me, I am amazed how similar your stories are to mine.
I am a father of 4 children ( 3 boys and my youngest is a girl). The boys have all given me my share of heartache. They range from 19-24 years old and have all smoked weed and see nothing wrong with it. They seem to have no shame that their parents know of their use of weed, unlike me who would be heart broken if I hurt my parents the way their views on weed hurt me. All three have had their run ins with the law as far as possession, but it's my oldest, and namesake, that has gone on touch harder things. We love in NJ and while he was away at college in Florida, he started on coke, then Percs and Oxy's, and eventually heroin. He went in to a 30 days rehab in Florida and when he got out, wasn't long before he got back into drugs. He graduated from FullSail university with a degree in Film, which has been his passion since forever. He moved back home and his previous boss was looking to start a new business and thought with his money and my sons knowledge, they could start their own production company, actually started two, one for commercial projects and a wedding video company. We were so proud that, unlike most of his graduating class, he was a co owner in a business he went to school for. He was on the top of the world and had a bright future ahead. They had lots of work and things were going well. That was until he started doing drugs more and more frequently. Of course we had no knowledge of it. When he didn't seem quite right, we thought it was do to all the late night hours he spent at their office, editing footage. He was at the office, but not getting anything accomplished because the drugs wouldn't let him focus on his work. His partner, who is 40 and our son is 24, figured it out before we did and eventually he let us know his suspicions. It got to the point that they broke the partnership, but my son continued with his responsibilities in the hope of gaining his partners trust again. We got him into detox for a week but he couldn't stay for rehab because of contracted obligations that only our son, who knew the technical end of the business, could handle. Of course he got right back into Oxy's and two months later we put him back in detox. Once again, he couldn't stay for in patient rehab because he had a wedding for a friend he needed to film. He had already received their payment, which he bought drugs with instead of putting it in the business, so he had to do their wedding. This was all in the first couple weeks of this April. We decided to give him a surprise drug test, which he supposedly could urinate, first thing in the morning when he woke up. When I gave up trying, he went immediately to another bathroom and I heard his go. A lot of shouting, crying and guilt trips followed and that bring me to where I am now. He had admitted to doing one Oxy but I sure as hell am not buying it. His partner says its time for tough love and through him out. His one brother has already deleted him as a family member. My 22 year old fears he will die on the street if we kick him out. Oh, real important part I left out, my 17 year old daughter, who has always had anxiety issues, only knows about his very first trip to rehab. She doesn't know he has a problem and we are trying to spare her from this. He has stolen money from everyone's rooms. He hocked jewelry of my wife's with the intentions of getting it back before she found out it was missing. That didn't happen so he had to sell his $600.00 drum set for about $75.00 to pay the balance that he owed.
Wow, putting this all in writing really shows just how messed up he has become.
I just don't understand this. When he's not under the influence, he is a great, family loving, intelligent young adult, respected by all our friends, who obviously don't know of his drug problem. Why can't he beat this? Why doesn't his love both from and for his family give him what he needs to get over this.
He has always said he needs one on one support sessions, he cannot stand the the of group sessions. Of course private sessions are hard to find. Oh well, I'm tires of writing and you are probably tired of reading. Thanks for letting me vent. God bless all of us.
to deal with my son's drug addiction it will probably be here. I thank all of you for sharing your experiences with me, I am amazed how similar your stories are to mine.
I am a father of 4 children ( 3 boys and my youngest is a girl). The boys have all given me my share of heartache. They range from 19-24 years old and have all smoked weed and see nothing wrong with it. They seem to have no shame that their parents know of their use of weed, unlike me who would be heart broken if I hurt my parents the way their views on weed hurt me. All three have had their run ins with the law as far as possession, but it's my oldest, and namesake, that has gone on touch harder things. We love in NJ and while he was away at college in Florida, he started on coke, then Percs and Oxy's, and eventually heroin. He went in to a 30 days rehab in Florida and when he got out, wasn't long before he got back into drugs. He graduated from FullSail university with a degree in Film, which has been his passion since forever. He moved back home and his previous boss was looking to start a new business and thought with his money and my sons knowledge, they could start their own production company, actually started two, one for commercial projects and a wedding video company. We were so proud that, unlike most of his graduating class, he was a co owner in a business he went to school for. He was on the top of the world and had a bright future ahead. They had lots of work and things were going well. That was until he started doing drugs more and more frequently. Of course we had no knowledge of it. When he didn't seem quite right, we thought it was do to all the late night hours he spent at their office, editing footage. He was at the office, but not getting anything accomplished because the drugs wouldn't let him focus on his work. His partner, who is 40 and our son is 24, figured it out before we did and eventually he let us know his suspicions. It got to the point that they broke the partnership, but my son continued with his responsibilities in the hope of gaining his partners trust again. We got him into detox for a week but he couldn't stay for rehab because of contracted obligations that only our son, who knew the technical end of the business, could handle. Of course he got right back into Oxy's and two months later we put him back in detox. Once again, he couldn't stay for in patient rehab because he had a wedding for a friend he needed to film. He had already received their payment, which he bought drugs with instead of putting it in the business, so he had to do their wedding. This was all in the first couple weeks of this April. We decided to give him a surprise drug test, which he supposedly could urinate, first thing in the morning when he woke up. When I gave up trying, he went immediately to another bathroom and I heard his go. A lot of shouting, crying and guilt trips followed and that bring me to where I am now. He had admitted to doing one Oxy but I sure as hell am not buying it. His partner says its time for tough love and through him out. His one brother has already deleted him as a family member. My 22 year old fears he will die on the street if we kick him out. Oh, real important part I left out, my 17 year old daughter, who has always had anxiety issues, only knows about his very first trip to rehab. She doesn't know he has a problem and we are trying to spare her from this. He has stolen money from everyone's rooms. He hocked jewelry of my wife's with the intentions of getting it back before she found out it was missing. That didn't happen so he had to sell his $600.00 drum set for about $75.00 to pay the balance that he owed.
Wow, putting this all in writing really shows just how messed up he has become.
I just don't understand this. When he's not under the influence, he is a great, family loving, intelligent young adult, respected by all our friends, who obviously don't know of his drug problem. Why can't he beat this? Why doesn't his love both from and for his family give him what he needs to get over this.
He has always said he needs one on one support sessions, he cannot stand the the of group sessions. Of course private sessions are hard to find. Oh well, I'm tires of writing and you are probably tired of reading. Thanks for letting me vent. God bless all of us.
Replies
This generation of kids unlike ours are not bothered by the \" don\'t shame the Family Name\", concept. Tor me it was a big deal and I feared my mothers reaction more than being arrested or getting pregnant etc. So I never strayed. I think our culture changed radically in the late \'60s -\'90s; and a result that deterrant for bad life choices has been lost and now acceptance of eveeryone and everything is the norm. No distinct right or wrongs anymore.
I\'m sorry you find yourself in this situation, believe me when I say I know how you feel. I am just surviving (treading water) emotionally, but this sight has been a God*send for me.
Cindy
Thanks Cindy, I wish you well.