Just plain tired
Today I tried hard to play the role of single parent. In some ways it is familiar because I'm the mom and my husband works long hours, then comes home tired and emotionally is spent. It's early to bed and early to rise with him for his job, but I cannot go to bed at 7 or 8 pm. I need time to decompress. I need time to rest.
So, I've been making meal ideas for the coming week so that I can go low-carb. My weight is ridiculously high and I cannot punish myself with sugar any longer. I have to get control of myself. I'm at the same weight of being full-term pregnant with my younger two kids and so I know it's time to get myself back together. I went to websites that helped me in the past.
I have been decreasing the amount of Prozac I take -- taking 40's every other day instead of every day. That is down from the 80'sx I was taking. I'm tired of feeling completely numb and having no sex drive whatsoever. I want to go to church tomorrow. I miss seeing my friends and connecting with other people. My weight and my skin reaction do not please me, but I need to show my face. Jesus wants me to take the sacrament even if I do not feel great about myself.
I'm going to get some pj's on and rest on the sofa. Going to the vegetable market and walmart (I freaking hate walmart) left me physically exhausted and in pain. WTFizzle has happened to my body? My back hurting from shopping? My legs hurting? My trunk and arms feeling like lead? That is not me. Time to work on my food and reduce the inflammation and sugar reactions.
I have had that Jar of Hearts song playing in my head nonstop and it's scaring me. So, I have to consciously "change the station" to something else. I've sung hymns, I've sung other songs I like, anything to get myself out of that song.
I also have been putting cortisone cream on the rash. It is itchy and hurts.
We'll see what tomorrow brings... Hopefully good things. :)dea
So, I've been making meal ideas for the coming week so that I can go low-carb. My weight is ridiculously high and I cannot punish myself with sugar any longer. I have to get control of myself. I'm at the same weight of being full-term pregnant with my younger two kids and so I know it's time to get myself back together. I went to websites that helped me in the past.
I have been decreasing the amount of Prozac I take -- taking 40's every other day instead of every day. That is down from the 80'sx I was taking. I'm tired of feeling completely numb and having no sex drive whatsoever. I want to go to church tomorrow. I miss seeing my friends and connecting with other people. My weight and my skin reaction do not please me, but I need to show my face. Jesus wants me to take the sacrament even if I do not feel great about myself.
I'm going to get some pj's on and rest on the sofa. Going to the vegetable market and walmart (I freaking hate walmart) left me physically exhausted and in pain. WTFizzle has happened to my body? My back hurting from shopping? My legs hurting? My trunk and arms feeling like lead? That is not me. Time to work on my food and reduce the inflammation and sugar reactions.
I have had that Jar of Hearts song playing in my head nonstop and it's scaring me. So, I have to consciously "change the station" to something else. I've sung hymns, I've sung other songs I like, anything to get myself out of that song.
I also have been putting cortisone cream on the rash. It is itchy and hurts.
We'll see what tomorrow brings... Hopefully good things. :)dea
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