Just one of those nights

I can't seem to relax enough tonight to fall asleep, which I think many people with COPD experience.  I am anxious tonight and feel like if I go to sleep I may not wake up.  I truly hate it when I feel this way. Although I am relieved when I put the oxygen on, because it eases my shortness of breath I sincerely wish I didn't have to.  I feel like I could fall asleep as I write this, but as soon as I lay down sleep evades me and I toss and turn until I can't take it any longer and I get up.  My legs are bothering me as they do most nights so I put icy hot on them and am hopeful that it helps with the ache.  I have taken more than enough of PM medicine and wish I could take more, but I know I can't.  So here I am, sitting here writing in a journal and trying to make sense of how I got to this point.
I am sure that a lot of others reflect back to happier healthier days when the signs of aging and years of smoking didn't play such a ugly part of their current daily life and ultimately their night.  I remember times when I could dance until last call and party until the sun came up.  But not any more, damn it.  I couldn't dance now if my life depended on it.  
I really hate that I can't sleep so that I can at least dance in my dreams.