just one of my rambling rants.
So, Dave left yesterday to start his new job and I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it since he was carrying our medical insurance. I know this job is better for him and I feel selfish but I'm worried about my medical expenses. I have to trust that he is making the right choice but I'm worried.
OK, now that that's off my chest....
I started working at a Care Center as an STNA the last of September. It's 12 hour shifts and I'm CONSTANTLY on my feet! I mean NON-STOP moving. IT IS EXHAUSTING!!! I'm in so much pain already and it's only getting worse. I'm no longer on any narcotic pain medication, just on Lyrica, Cymbalta, and Adipex also I take klonopin as needed. I can't get insurance through Dave's new job so I have to get it through the Care Center (if I can) or go on the shitty government insurance.
I feel like it would just be better if the OD last month would have worked. No one should be in this much pain. My pain scale went from a 5-6 on a regular basis to a 10! My family doctor can no longer give me strong medication due to the DEA regulations. I've seen pain care specialist and I hate the way they make me feel, like I'm just drug seeking, hell if that is what I wanted I would just go to the apartments behind my house and get them, everyone knows that's the place to go if your looking.
There is no county/government help for me because I work, I'm married and he works, and we have no kids. I don't qualify for disability for the same reasons even though my doctor has said I need it. I just don't understand how people can keep having kids to stay on assistance and abuse it! Then there are people that abuse the medications or sell them, and it puts the people that truly need it in a bind because we can't get it without drug test, 10 thousand questions every month, and hundred's of hoops to jump through. it really pisses me off.
My only outlets have been cutting, alcohol (which I don't like), suicidal thoughts, or just sleeping with taking sleeping pills to stay asleep so I don't feel the pain. All of these are not healthy and I know it but what other choices do I have?!?!? the exercises and stretches help to a certain point (IF I CAN DO THEM) it depends on the day. I'm eating and staying away from foods they tell me to. I've tried the homeopathic path and that doesn't work for me either. I guess my next stop is a witch doctor LOL just joking... I just need relief and I need it soon.
Thanks for reading my rant if you did.
OK, now that that's off my chest....
I started working at a Care Center as an STNA the last of September. It's 12 hour shifts and I'm CONSTANTLY on my feet! I mean NON-STOP moving. IT IS EXHAUSTING!!! I'm in so much pain already and it's only getting worse. I'm no longer on any narcotic pain medication, just on Lyrica, Cymbalta, and Adipex also I take klonopin as needed. I can't get insurance through Dave's new job so I have to get it through the Care Center (if I can) or go on the shitty government insurance.
I feel like it would just be better if the OD last month would have worked. No one should be in this much pain. My pain scale went from a 5-6 on a regular basis to a 10! My family doctor can no longer give me strong medication due to the DEA regulations. I've seen pain care specialist and I hate the way they make me feel, like I'm just drug seeking, hell if that is what I wanted I would just go to the apartments behind my house and get them, everyone knows that's the place to go if your looking.
There is no county/government help for me because I work, I'm married and he works, and we have no kids. I don't qualify for disability for the same reasons even though my doctor has said I need it. I just don't understand how people can keep having kids to stay on assistance and abuse it! Then there are people that abuse the medications or sell them, and it puts the people that truly need it in a bind because we can't get it without drug test, 10 thousand questions every month, and hundred's of hoops to jump through. it really pisses me off.
My only outlets have been cutting, alcohol (which I don't like), suicidal thoughts, or just sleeping with taking sleeping pills to stay asleep so I don't feel the pain. All of these are not healthy and I know it but what other choices do I have?!?!? the exercises and stretches help to a certain point (IF I CAN DO THEM) it depends on the day. I'm eating and staying away from foods they tell me to. I've tried the homeopathic path and that doesn't work for me either. I guess my next stop is a witch doctor LOL just joking... I just need relief and I need it soon.
Thanks for reading my rant if you did.
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