Just okay

Grayish font for a grayish day... but still with a pretty purplish cast...
I'm doing... just okay... I'm struggling a little.. not in a bad way.. but I'm under some serious pressure to get moving on my life, to start a laughter club, to get my daughter lined up with a car and a life and counseling and disability,  decide what to do with the rental property... ... sigh... more of the same,  I need to take some serious steps out into the world, and I sit here, paralyzed with fear...
I get little spurts of self-confidence every once in a while, where I think, why NOT? Why CAN'T I do this? Mary helps me a lot, she's sends me these crazy texts, all over the board, out of sequence, but when you put them all together, they really have a powerful message for me.
I'm a little worried about her right now, she's been pretty incommunicative with me in the past couple days... I don't know why,  but I'm taking a break with her... it feels like she's angry with me in some way, but that's just how I process everything. I must've done something or said something...
I miss my wine too, especially on the weekends, when my husband's around... I know it's wrong, and I know it led to more problems with him than solutions, I'm so very grateful for it to be gone from our lives, we're much closer now... but the compulsions are so difficult... I end up stuffing my face with sugar, cookies, icecream, candy, stupid skittles
Things aren't bad... just challenging, Easter is coming up, my family descends upon us... I don't look forward to it, it's pressure having them here, the mess, the noise, the pressure of buying everyone stuff for baskets... sigh... Is supposed to be fun... I'm making it not fun, it's all in my mind...
I can turn it around.
Have fun
Enjoy my family. My kids. My neices and nephews.... My parents. Be grateful for them and for such a wonderful brother and sister, and how close we are... make it special, make good food, plan ahead for a change... PLAN to have fun...
I can do this!