Just need to air it all out
Well I haven't really posted here since my last breakup issue.
Since then things started getting better. In the spring of 2012 I was pretty much over my ex. Another girl that I had dated for like a month in high school, and who was friends with some of my buds, recently became single so I figured I'd ask if she was okay (since I knew how bad it can suck). Eventually we really hit it off, started hanging out, and for the first time in a long time I felt really happy.
We spent one night together, and it was great. But then the next day she texted me and told me she was getting back together with her ex. I was pretty shocked and hurt, a lot. Things had been getting so much better for me, this just felt like a kick in the gut. But eventually she changed her mind (kind of a theme here) and we decided to be together.
Despite the rocky start, things were great. The summer together was awesome, but she was moving. It wasn't a huge deal since we had to leave for college anyway, and she was moving only three hours away (and oddly enough to where a bunch of my extended family live), so I wasn't too worried. We didn't see eachother much, but we found time to. We Skyped a lot, texted all the time, and things were great. Since she was out of school for a year due to the move, I was pretty much the only person in her life that year.
Eventually she started working, going to school, and making new friends, and thats when the trouble started. I wanted her to make friends, and was glad she did, but of course her new "best friend" had to be a guy. Of course... And it seemed like she was just focusing all her effort on her new friends and sort of put me on the back burner.
And so began the beginning of the end... We started fighting, she broke up with me but that night called me crying and said she takes it back. A few weeks went by, it still wasn't working, so she broke up with me again. At first I didn't care, I figured I had learned from last relationship's woes that I'd be better this time, but I guess I can't really help it.
I tried to patch things up, visiting her a couple times. Once she even said she wanted to get back together with me, she just wanted to wait to make it "official". The reason she wanted to wait is because her new "best friend" had bet her 60 dollars that she WOULD get back together with me within the month. So basically, if she didn't, she'd get 60 bucks. If he hadn't made that bet, we'd be back together. And what do you know, he asked her out on a date. So I kind of hate this guy for tampering with our relationship so much.
I visited her a few times after the breakup, and it always went well. It felt like we were dating again and felt great. She'd say she loved me, we'd talk about our future together, etc. But for some reason at the end of the week she'd still not want to. To this day I don't understand.
So thats kind of where we are now. She still doesn't want to, but at this point she has become kind of a jerk about it, and we really don't talk anymore. I can't deny that I still have feelings for her. It also bothers me how seemingly easy it is for her. She says she is ready to see other guys, and wouldn't care if I saw other girls. Meanwhile the thought of her with other guys makes me sick.
I'm honestly just sick of being myself. I clearly can't handle breakups or relationships. She made me so happy while we were dating, but now I am so miserable I have to wonder if it was ever worth it. I just don't want to have to go through this the rest of my life. Its pretty depressing to think about.
Since then things started getting better. In the spring of 2012 I was pretty much over my ex. Another girl that I had dated for like a month in high school, and who was friends with some of my buds, recently became single so I figured I'd ask if she was okay (since I knew how bad it can suck). Eventually we really hit it off, started hanging out, and for the first time in a long time I felt really happy.
We spent one night together, and it was great. But then the next day she texted me and told me she was getting back together with her ex. I was pretty shocked and hurt, a lot. Things had been getting so much better for me, this just felt like a kick in the gut. But eventually she changed her mind (kind of a theme here) and we decided to be together.
Despite the rocky start, things were great. The summer together was awesome, but she was moving. It wasn't a huge deal since we had to leave for college anyway, and she was moving only three hours away (and oddly enough to where a bunch of my extended family live), so I wasn't too worried. We didn't see eachother much, but we found time to. We Skyped a lot, texted all the time, and things were great. Since she was out of school for a year due to the move, I was pretty much the only person in her life that year.
Eventually she started working, going to school, and making new friends, and thats when the trouble started. I wanted her to make friends, and was glad she did, but of course her new "best friend" had to be a guy. Of course... And it seemed like she was just focusing all her effort on her new friends and sort of put me on the back burner.
And so began the beginning of the end... We started fighting, she broke up with me but that night called me crying and said she takes it back. A few weeks went by, it still wasn't working, so she broke up with me again. At first I didn't care, I figured I had learned from last relationship's woes that I'd be better this time, but I guess I can't really help it.
I tried to patch things up, visiting her a couple times. Once she even said she wanted to get back together with me, she just wanted to wait to make it "official". The reason she wanted to wait is because her new "best friend" had bet her 60 dollars that she WOULD get back together with me within the month. So basically, if she didn't, she'd get 60 bucks. If he hadn't made that bet, we'd be back together. And what do you know, he asked her out on a date. So I kind of hate this guy for tampering with our relationship so much.
I visited her a few times after the breakup, and it always went well. It felt like we were dating again and felt great. She'd say she loved me, we'd talk about our future together, etc. But for some reason at the end of the week she'd still not want to. To this day I don't understand.
So thats kind of where we are now. She still doesn't want to, but at this point she has become kind of a jerk about it, and we really don't talk anymore. I can't deny that I still have feelings for her. It also bothers me how seemingly easy it is for her. She says she is ready to see other guys, and wouldn't care if I saw other girls. Meanwhile the thought of her with other guys makes me sick.
I'm honestly just sick of being myself. I clearly can't handle breakups or relationships. She made me so happy while we were dating, but now I am so miserable I have to wonder if it was ever worth it. I just don't want to have to go through this the rest of my life. Its pretty depressing to think about.
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