just make it stop
I seriously want to die today! My mom keeps repeating the same damned question. " Where is my father". Meaning her father. I calmly repeat he died 40 years ago. The grief and tears I see and hear are making me very anxious. I try to remember how she must feel and I do. I just want to die so I won't have to answer that painful question one more time. I feel so guilty because I just want it to stop. And I know there are painful questions to come.
Replies
I wish I could say I know how you feel, but I don\'t. You are doing a good deed for your mom that is huge. I hope you find the strength to endure and stand by her day by day as you have been doing. My heart goes out to you.
So sorry I didn\'t read your journal before I left a hug.
Have you done some reading dementia? She is not experiencing near the pain that you are, because she forgets again as soon as you answer her, whereas you carry it with you all day. Some ppl find it easier to vary the answers they give to dementia patients, and just enter into their world with them........ they no longer comprehend the real facts and so some variation on the topic is not unkind, but can save the sanity of the care giver!
When I read the book..The 36 Hour Day, a book on dealing with ALZ.
They always suggest diversion from uncomfortable or repeated questions.
Even lieing to the ALZ patient , about their questions .
I find that very hard to do.
I am on the edge of a breakdown myself, so I know how you feel.
I try to avoid as much contact with my Mom as possible.
I only visit her when my sister is with me .And if Mom calls when I am home alnoe, I don\'t answer the phone.
ALZ is so hard to deal with, with out the added stress of BP.
I live on Xanax and sleep most days now.
Sending hugs
dd
sorry this is so hard on you and your dad.Sure it\'s not easy having your mom home like that. I understand that perhaps a nursing home isn\'t an option,Truth is your mom really belongs in one at this point. Hugs and prayers-Stephanie
Alzeimer\'s is a horrid thing to happen to a person, and their families. And it\'s hard to accept the fact that \"the old mom\" is never coming back and it\'s only going to get worse. How do you prepare yourself for something like that??? The simple answer to that is, you can\'t.........You just have to sit back and watch it happen and know there\'s nothing you can do about it....It\'s just so agonizing........