Just made a realization

Ever since I began suffering from depression my life has been about taking two steps forward and three steps back. Every time I felt that I had made a breakthrough, something would set me back further than I was before this breakthrough. Now I have experienced a life changing event, and I did not realize until just this moment. What made me realize this was an episode of 7th Heaven that I just finished watching. It was the episode where Lucy got dropped off at the pizza place by her brother in order to meet up with her friends and secretly go somewhere else with her friends. Her two friends got into a car accident, killing one and injuring the other one, while they were on their way back to the pizza place after getting gas because Lucy was late. Afterwords Lucy was having a hard time because she felt it was her fault. Eventually her father calls Marys ex boyfriend Wilson, who lost his wife, and he takes her to a support group for people who have lost their loved ones. At this meeting things are talked about that people say meaning to help but it really makes it worse, and then they say what they really felt like at the time. One of them said something like "It should have been me who died, but I am glad that I didn't, I have a reason for being here, and I am happy it was not me." This is the part that made me realize I had a life changing experience. When I was in the car accident a week and a half ago, the area of the truck that was smashed included the gas tank, and I can not understand why it did not explode. To me this means there is a reason it didn't and there is a reason for me to be alive, which I would not be if it had exploded.
When I first wrote about the accident I said that I found a new meaning in life because I realized I am here to help others, I did not care about how I was after it, all I cared about was making sure Joey was okay. Now after seeing the episode I have a whole new view on life, and yes, it has made me a better person, there will be no three steps back from this one. I survived the accident because I am meant to be here, and even if my purpose in life is not to help others, I know for sure that there is another purpose and I will come across it soon enough. But in order to do this, I have to be happier with myself, and make sure I continue on living.