Just How I Feel

I'm laying in bed with my friend and we've been going through this ruff patch in our friendship, for me I feel neglected and taken advantage of, for him he says he's going through personal changes and it's making him want to experience new things and I shouldn't feel it's affecting us, It is we were in very heavy places in our world when we met and I believe we both were in need of something that the other had in boatloads so the friendship made perfect sense, 7yrs later lots of things have changed and we both look physically and spiritually different, of course the obvious change is we've aged (I think gracefully lol) I believe I've grown and I don't know that he has, I'm certain we love one another I don't know that what initially brought us together  is where we are right now but it seemed to Happened so fast I got thrown off, I love my friend I don't know that I like where he is at this point and I've told him, it's just strange .I think there's guilt on both our parts having to do with our intimate journey, we've experienced some vulnerable moments that led to us physically being together and that was a first for us in a friend thing, I didn't think it would make us see ourselves any different but it did because as humans we don't live in a bubble so what you hear not necessarily about yourself but about what you may have done it can play on how you think others view you, I see from my friends point of view he doesn't want people thinking our friendship is more than just buddies, I don't want anyone questioning it either but you tend to move different in public once you've been sexually intimate especially with a friend, He told me " Yo you move way different than I do" well I thought he knew that after 7 yrs but it felt like an attack, I'm really trying not to take everything so personal yet how can you not when your best friend says they want to fall back on some of the intimate moments you shared and from my perspective those moments are what made my lowest times bearable, For me he became my oxygen so how do breathe without it?