Just Got the Feeling that I Just Don't Want to Be this Person Anymore

I think its a good thing? But I am sitting here thinking and reaching the conclusion that it really is time to change. I am 38 and looking at myself and my behaviours and I just don't want to do this anymore. I am so tired of saying its out of my control - I can't do this (change) - because what use is that? Where is that going to get me or my children or my partner or my friends or anyone? 
Yes so much happens for me in the blink of an eye as I have PTSD - but I still want to learn to manage it. I want to be stable for myself and for my special people in my life. 
Today I am going to stop making excuses. This is serious. My life is important and by that i mean it affects other people. Its time to take responsibility for it.