Just getting through the day......
Boy have I found out that I have much to learn about having Parkinson's. It not only causes me to suffer depression, anxiety, and pain but it's also causing me to have serious mood swings and chronic fatigue. I also become very frustrated quickly now. I wake up feeling motivated enough but the as the morning progresses I find that I grow less interested in doing things like straightening up the house, putting away laundry, even feeding the dog. I don't want my husband to come home and see that all I have done is sit and watch TV or play on the computer. Because of my social anxiety issues, I don't find it easy to get out of the house except for doctors appts., and going to the grocery store. I think that I am becoming more depressed with each new day. My husband keeps talking about us needing to get away and take a vacation but I am just not feeling like this is something I want to do. I don't enjoy the beaches anymore like I used to and don't like participating in the resorts group activities. I am a non-drinker so that kind of adds to me being a "party pooper". I've become more of a loner even around my husband. We don't talk much these days because he brings his work home with him and works until about 6pm then falls asleep on the couch until about 8pm or so. I normally eat dinner by myself as he is either too stressed out from work to eat when I do or he falls asleep. We don't talk much about his calls to his mother or father (he calls them every night) anymore either which is bothering me because he has been leaving the room now when he calls them which makes me feel insecure like they are talking about me behind my back. I normally wake up at 5am and read the newspaper and then get onto my Parkinson's Group pages and see what is new or try to strike up new conversations but even that is hard because sometimes the members in My Support Groups are not online and things stay too quiet. I have very few active people in my personal support group which includes my family and friends. We make small talk because I do not want to bore them or run them off with details of how I really am doing - even though they ask. I merely say that I am doing fine and change the subject. I am hoping that after having so many bad day this week that maybe today I will have a good day but it's no seeming to feel like it's going to be one of my better days.
Replies