Just Found Out

I found out 2 weeks ago today that my husband of almost 16 years (just 2 months shy of anniversary) has been having an affair with our next door neighbor.  She was also a very good friend of mine.  This affair has been going on for over 1 1/2 years.  I never saw it coming.  She always talked about how bad he treated me and how disconnected he was from me.  She called him names to me.  I know now, that was just to keep me from finding out on her part.   My husband chose to have the affair with her.  We were having some problems in our sex life regarding my lack of libido due to a full hysterectomy (at age 30ish).  I am now 37.  It was an ongoing issue each time I went to the doctor.  I thought he understood and was willing to work with me on it.  When he first told me about the affair, he first tried to make it my fault that he CHOSE to have sex with her when she asked him.  That I didn't give him what he needed.  That I was dispassionate to him.  I told him that I did not make that choice for him....he did! We have talked quite a bit (no screaming or fighting, though I am not sure how I didn't) and we have decided to work it out and try to keep our marriage together.  When he told the OW about our decision, she said, "so she won, huh?"  I told him it was no contest.  She could have him if he so chooses.  He has told me repeatedly that he wants me, our marriage and our family and not her. He ripped my heart out!  I never would have even thought that he would be capable of doing what he has done.  I guess that goes to say that you never know about people.  I have days that I cry and days that are numb.  Yesterday was horrible.  As to how we will proceed, I don't know yet.  I don't know if I can ever trust him again.  I don't know if I can love him in the SAME WAY again.  I do know that I still love him deep down but his betrayal of our marriage, the deception, the lies and the death of my trust are hard to overcome.  I am willing to try though.