Just For Laughs

Regular Entry Below the Hospital Charting Bloopers: ** _Hospital Charting Bloopers (Actual writings from hospital charts)_***** **** 1.  Patient refused the autopsy.**** 2.  The patient has no previous history of suicides.**** 3.  Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.**** 4.  She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.**** 5.  Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. **** 6.  On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.**** 7.  The patient is tearful and crying constantly.  She also appears to be depressed.**** 8.  The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.**** 9.  Discharge status: Alive but without permission.****10.  Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.****11.  Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.****12.  She is numb from her toes down.****13.  While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.****14.  The skin was moist and dry.****15.  Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.****16.  Patient was alert and unresponsive.****17.  Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.****18.  She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.****19.  I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.****20.  Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.****21.  Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.****22.  The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.****23.  Skin: somewhat pale but present. ****24.  The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.****25.  Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. **  ~~~~~ Haha, hope you got some laughs out of those...I did.  I'm having an "off" day...not a bad day...just one of those were things aren't quite going right.  Like I went to take a sip of coffee and realized I had already finished it...and then I went to pour a glass of water but missed the glass and poured the water all over the floor.  I did manage to do a 15 min workout though it is getting hard to talk myself into it this week.  I also posted some stuff for sale online...so at least I'm getting some things accomplished...but right now I'm taking a break and eating some chocolate.  Mmmmm.