Just floating

I seem like I have trouble keeping track of the time.  I can't believe my mom has been gone a yr and a month.  I still haven't taken care of the disposition of her ashes, I'm undecided.  I don't want to pay $150.00 to have them  scattered at sea and I don't think I can take them in the apartment with me.  I have trouble just remembering what day it is and I keep praying and hoping things will get better.  I don't know how I'm going to live alone with my legs in these compression wraps forever.