just feeling sad

Wow..been awhile since I've been here...and thats a neat feeling knowing I can go to a positive place...I'm feeling down and just pretty much disgusted about my appearance...and that how it's soo hard to get pregnant...I am not a woman...woman are ones who get a monthly regular ovulated period...I am now 230 lbs...short of breath because of how I am short and everything is getting squeezed inside...usually I've been with a better attitude but, realizing that my insurance doesnt cover bariatric surgery or fertility it just sucks!