Just Feeling really scared and alone...oh and exhausted

Nothing much to report. I decided I was well enough to go for a small jog aka shuffle this morning...I must have looked a sight. I held my left arm up to my boobs and kept it clamped there to protect the stitches in my armpit and back from  moving around too much. When I say run, I really mean quite a slow shuffle. It is now a whole week since this all began for me. I feel more scared and alone than ever before. And I am tired. Bone tired. A in, it is 1030am and I am seriously contemplating going back to bed. I feel like I am coming down with a cold and that really is the last thing I need right now...really hoping its just a stress reaction! 
I had the transfer yesterday and feel no different. I guess thats normal. I honestly, hand on my heart don't think that it is my time this cycle. And, right now, I am ok with that. I know that sounds callous and awful but with everything else that is going on right now. ..I don't know. I guess that I am ok with it not working this time around. It does worry me that if we get a negative cancer result (please God!) and a negative pregnancy result, that there will be enormous amounts of pressure for the next cycle but I guess we will just have to cross that bridge wen we get to it.
SO yeah, not holding not much hope for a positive pregnancy test. I know I have to keep clarifying positive pregnancy test, negative cancer result, because in my stupid little head, I feel that if I just say "positive" and "negative" the old man upstairs might get confused and give them to me the wrong way round...then that would be pretty awful. Oh God, please please please, let me not have cancer in my lymph nodes...or anywhere for that matter, please let it have all been removed.