Just Existing

I feel so empty inside. Like Im just existing in this world no purpose. Im usually a very strong person but someone can only take so much!! The baby was my breaking point. I feel broken and like I cant be fixed...like nothing can be fixed. Any normal person would be so happy when someone they know is having a baby....I cant feel no joy for them and it makes me feel just awful. I feel like such a bad person. But I know I have to grab hold of my life and hope for the best! Im trying so hard but I find the lack of strength to get up every day. I feel like I am Stuck in a hole and cant get out. I want to so bad . I was such a happy person and now finding joy makes me feel guilty. Ive never felt pain like this before. I hope and pray everyday to god to help me out of this slump. I need so bad to get on with my life.