Just Dealing

I'm on the verge of tears all the time. Whenever someone brings up a remotely touchy subject, I feel the water weld in the back of my eyes, begging to be free. But I don't to cry in front of you, or you, or you. Teachers, friends, bosses, councilors. I don't want you to feel as if you did something wrong, because you haven't. It's me. It's me fighting my depression back. Trying to handle this all on my own. Even trying to find a therapist seems overwhelmingly difficult. I just have to push through a little longer, wait for that email back, for that next phone call, next appointment. But even when those arrive, it's not going to be an overnight fix. I'm scared. This is what I help others overcome. How can I do that ever again, if I'm the broken one? I know I will overcome this but when? Because I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'd rather just sleep for a while and wake up better, normal, healthy.