Just Checkin in
Hello SOTH - It's Monday and I'm just checkin in with "how it's going"....I have my grandson this week and that is going well. We have talked about his mom and we are able to laugh and some things and cry about other things. He is wise in his 13 years. He knew his mom and all of her mental stuff and has provided great insight without even knowing it. WE are off to the Arizona tomorrow where we will boat, barbeque, movies and just being together doing "fun things". His mom would not let me have him for very long because it was her way of control so this is wonderful that I can do things with him - BUT I would give anything to have Jennifer here.
I went to a grief support group on the recommendation of my grief counselor so I went. It is not for me. There were people there who were grieving a loss of job, grieving a loss of a grandmother 9 years ago, grieving a loss of a dog...REALLY....I know all of this is traumatic to those that are experiencing it but it is not helpful to me. There was a blessing in this group and that was there were 3 moms who have lost their children - 2 to suicide and one to a drowning. I was able to share FMO and visit with them after the meeting. SIGH.....My heart breaks for them because I know the heartache ...... Thankful I was there, Thankful I could share YOU amazing women and how much this FMO has helped me. Keep them in your prayers....Lani, Michelle and Linda. Thanks.
Even though I am looking forward to a little bit of R&R, my daughter is never out of my mind, my heart. I so wish she was with me. 7 months....where has the time gone...how many tears ......how many sighs...how many what if's......I'm doing the best I can -- one day at a time, more like one second at a time. I miss her so much!!! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!
Blessings to you all - Vicki
I went to a grief support group on the recommendation of my grief counselor so I went. It is not for me. There were people there who were grieving a loss of job, grieving a loss of a grandmother 9 years ago, grieving a loss of a dog...REALLY....I know all of this is traumatic to those that are experiencing it but it is not helpful to me. There was a blessing in this group and that was there were 3 moms who have lost their children - 2 to suicide and one to a drowning. I was able to share FMO and visit with them after the meeting. SIGH.....My heart breaks for them because I know the heartache ...... Thankful I was there, Thankful I could share YOU amazing women and how much this FMO has helped me. Keep them in your prayers....Lani, Michelle and Linda. Thanks.
Even though I am looking forward to a little bit of R&R, my daughter is never out of my mind, my heart. I so wish she was with me. 7 months....where has the time gone...how many tears ......how many sighs...how many what if's......I'm doing the best I can -- one day at a time, more like one second at a time. I miss her so much!!! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!
Blessings to you all - Vicki
Replies
that group may not have been your cup of tea,,, but you were needed,,, thank you for sharing fmo with the other moms... maybe there is a need for a small group of you to get together,, and I certainly keep them in my prayers... enjoy your grandson,, love ya!
Savor the time with your grandson and to be able to be vulnerable and to share with one another IS the healing. Also, enjoy those present moments of fun as they slowly can begin to fill in some of those places filled with heartache.
It takes awhile to find a fit with groups and you were meant to be there as Nora said to share with them and I met every other month with a dear mom that I had worked with for breakfast and another mom when we could for lunch. It was such a lifeline for me to have beating hearts to see and hands to hold so perhaps something may come from you meeting these special women.
Be safe and I\'ll be thinking of you and your grandson and knowing that in some way Jennifer will come to say hello as our children love to be invited along and never miss out on anything I have discovered.
With you and caring dear Vicki,
Lots of love,
XO Joanie
Enjoy every bit of your visit....and I am sure you were a blessing to those Moms. God uses us and we don\'t even see it coming...love Lauri
You are doing great! I can understand your feelings about the support group. I agree with Nora; I think you were meant to go - this one time. I hope they decide to join us.
I don\'t do well in groups. I find that there are usually one or 2 uber needy people who monopolize and it isn\'t good to punch out a grieving person or a facilitator! Often the leader does not know how to facilitate. So I steer clear. I guess I am a bit critical as I used to facilitate groups when I did education.
I am so glad you are having time with your grandson. He sounds like a cool kid. My granddaughter was 14 when her mom died. She has trouble opening up - still. But we have a good relationship.
Enjoy your time together!
Love and hugs,
Marlene
Yes I understand missing her far too well, but you don\'t miss her pain. The person you miss is the person she should have been without that damned illness, straight from hell, mental illness is straight from hell. So unfair. You are there for your grandson, God bless you! You will make a difference in this boy\'s life, focus on that. Let him talk, let him cry, make yourself the \"safe place to fall\". Enjoy him, cherish these moments as I know you do. I understand about the group. Three years ago I went to one Compassionate Friends meeting HOLY COW I wanted to jump off a cliff after leaving that meeting. All they did was repeat, repeat, repeat the horror, tell their stories for the umpteenth time, what about SURVIVING, what about strength and sharing as the SOTH do! Someone asked me if I wanted to tell my story. HELL NO. What, entertain them with a horror that was all over the papers and local news channels? No thank you. I\'d never go back to another group where there was no trained professional. My \"peers\" can\'t help me if they are stuck, only if they are learning to go forward. It\'s like an AA meeting: if you pass out the beer and commiserate with one another, you\'re missing the entire POINT. No you stick with your counselors, I think you\'re doing just fine considering the horror. Love you sister.
Vicki, so very happy for you to have this great visit with your grandchild. Hoping your daughter pays a visit so you can share it both together.
A true blessing that you meet the other moms; hope they come aboard our lifeline here. It would be great to have lunch sometime too. Take care and lots of love, Kathy
Have a wonderful trip with your grandson. Maybe you and the other moms will form your own little group of support. It helps to get real live hugs from someone who gets it. Know and trust you are doing the best you can, day by day, minute by minute. At 5 years in I have days where it is still minute by minute, I hang on trying to survive. Luckily the better days outweight the not so good days. Love to you, Sue xo
I\'m impressed by how well you and your grandson can communicate about his mom and your daughter. It is healing to be able to share with him, knowing how much you both love her.
You were such a compassionate mom to give those mom\'s our FMO invitation. That was no coincidence. Sending you hugs, Debbie
I think you were God wanted you to be, at that moment in time. You were able to share FMO with three grieving moms. That could be a turning point for one or all of them.
It is nice you can share some quality time, with your grandson. Enjoy and make new, precious memories...
((((HUGS))))....Julia
Enjoy the r & r. You deserve this time to spend together. It will be therapeutic for both of you. Maybe the support group wasn\'t for you but for those other women you touched by sharing:). Much love. Robin
The grief group meetings were not for me either, but do help so many. It\'s good to discover what works and what does not along our paths.
Thank you for sharing FMO with the moms you met. Much love energy and many prayers being sent their way for sure!
Enjoy your time with your grandson! I lived in AZ for two years....loved it! Didn\'t know they had any lakes though! LOL! We were on an army base though...Ft. Huachuca.
Yep we miss our babies SOOO much! That part never changes. The intense pain does however...thankfully.
Safe travels my friend!
Hugs
I did a group through Hospice, they had people who lost parents or partners, not dogs etc.. I was the only one with loss of a child but I did get through some issues it did help if only a little. Of course I got more help here at FMO then anywhere else. You do what is right for You!
Enjoy your grandson, I know grand children are a life savor....
Hugs Penny