Just checkin in'
Hello SOTH - The last few days I have been so pre-occupied with I am alone with no-one to give "things" to. I'm married (for 14 years) have 2 step-daughters, but I don't have children, brothers or sisters, cousins, etc to give sentimental stuff to. What about the dishes that my grandmother used that I inherited from my mom? I thought my daughter would get those---here comes reality again. Jennifer is not here anymore. I feel like it's a damn pity party sometimes for me....I should know by now you can't take stuff with you when you die but I just thought I would be leaving it to my daughter..... My grandson is 13 - so I guess some stuff could go to him but he didn't even know my grandmother or my aunt....urgh....guess I'm just whining - in the end guess it doesn't matter. It just wasn't what I thought it would be, my life is changed forever.
On the brighter side, I have 4 more days of work and off for 2 weeks due to spring break...yay!! I am looking forward to much needed rest. My husband and I will be going to Arizona for 1 week so it's always relaxing and enjoyable. WE have had some beautiful weather here in southern California but Arizona, it's usually warmer. I'm a sun girl so I'll be smiling. Anyway life does go on, day by day but in my head and heart, my life has stopped.. Jennifer, I miss you and love you so much!
Thank you once again for listening....I so appreciate it! Much love and hugs to you all.
Vicki
On the brighter side, I have 4 more days of work and off for 2 weeks due to spring break...yay!! I am looking forward to much needed rest. My husband and I will be going to Arizona for 1 week so it's always relaxing and enjoyable. WE have had some beautiful weather here in southern California but Arizona, it's usually warmer. I'm a sun girl so I'll be smiling. Anyway life does go on, day by day but in my head and heart, my life has stopped.. Jennifer, I miss you and love you so much!
Thank you once again for listening....I so appreciate it! Much love and hugs to you all.
Vicki
Replies
Your grandson will associate what you give him with you and his Mom\'s heritage...it will be the same as it was for you when you received it. If your daughter was still here, it would have trickled down to him perhaps.
We do tend to grieve over the simplest things. I never know what is going to press my buttons. Enjoy the sun for me! Love Lauri
Don\'t stress too much over the \"stuff\":-). The way I look at it all is that who is going to want it anyway over the years. If it is valuable, it will only be looked at for it\'s monetary value. My mom places a great value on \"stuff\" and thinks all 7 of us kids will be fighting over it when she dies...What we will be fighting over is who pays for the dumpster LOL! We all call it \"stuff\" and that is all it is! YES, for 2 weeks off. And enjoy your trip!
Peace.
It is so hard to accept that all the plans and dreams that we had are no longer possible. I gave Lisa her grandmother\'s set of dishes. She cherished them - the one thing I am thankful I did. Lisa and I talked about the future. She expected to be caring for us in our old age. Never did I expect that she would be gone before us! Our son has inherited us!
I am learning that stuff is stuff. My SIL and his new wife sold Lisa\'s antique piano and goodness knows what else. I was devastated but just remind myself that it is only stuff. I did let them all know that I wanted Grandma\'s dishes to go to my beautiful granddaughter.
Have a wonderful time in Arizona!
Hugs, Marlene
all the moms are so right so far,,, stuff.... I also thought my daughter would get my stuff,,,, and some of it was my great grandmother\'s whom I was named after... but,,, stuff,,, I have started to rid our home of stuff,, because my mom thinks we want her stuff!! what a cycle,,,anyway have a fun trip!
Our \"treasures\" do become just \"stuff\" to others and I know that it is more the symbolism of not having your Jennifer to pass these things along to that hurts your heart. Only do what you can and allow yourself lots of wiggle room with these decisions. In the end none of it is taken with us, yet the memory around the item is forever in our hearts so that has helped me as I downsize my life at this time as well.
Have the best time ever on your vacation and a change in scenery is vital and I\'m sure Jennifer will find ways to let you know she is with you and not missing out.
Heartfelt hugs as you take all of these steps that may seem small, yet are very significant indeed because you are the one putting one foot in front of the other.
XO Joanie
Reading all of your comments have really helped put my heart at peace with my \"stuff\"...and your comments help me to put it all in perspective...at the bottom of all these feelings I have is I don\'t have my daughter to share these things with anymore. I am grateful though for the time I had with her. Thank you so much!! Off to work I go. Luv ya! Vicki
I hear you my friend. SO much has changed with the way I see \"things\" now. It used to bother me SO much that Kala\'s things would never be passed down to her children, etc. Now....I am at a place where the stuff that matters to me today, is to be treasured by me today....period. If my son wants anything he\'d better speak up now!!! LOL! I plan to leave here as empty handed as the day I arrived! But know I am not making light of your feelings!!! I DO get it and have been there myself sweetie.
So happy to hear of your upcoming vacation time! I love Arizona....lived at Ft. Huachuca for 2 years when I was a girl....Also lived in CA for 6 years (my first 6 on planet earth) and love visiting. It\'s important to have things to look forward to.
It will never be the same. It will never be right, fair, or OK. But we do find our lives again, slowly, somehow....we do.
Much love and tight hugs~~Teri
After my two children transitioned, I, too, felt cheated. I remember the first time I saw a wee little girl wearing the winter jacket I\'d bought my daughter for the following winter (a great jacket on sale but too large at the time) and donated to charity after she went to HeavenWhether it was the exact jacket or a different one, I don\'t knowI can recall the mixed emotions I felt thoughI keep feeling someone may enter my life and need these \"things\" that my transitioned children no longer need--but other, earthly \"children\" still need, or would take delight in receiving. LIke my wedding dress that I\"d planned to give to my daughter! Take care. Over time, these kinds of things stopped being so \"pain-full\"...Love, Donna
I agree with every mom who wrote to you. I thought I would be giving all my journals about my life. I have no family at all just a sister and she is 66. We talk on the phone everyday. i don,t know where all my stuf and my daughters stuff will go ?? Bless your angel hugs and love Mary Ann
Now that I have more stuff, my daughter may not want . I am thinking about the grandies. They will treasure my stuff more then my daughter. One day I will decide who gets what now I am clueless..
Hugs Penny