Just Can't Take This

Well the good new's is that my father in law came through the heart bypass and is doing great,the dr say's he has the heart of a 30-40 yrar old.(hes 76) Why couldn't his son have the same luck?He was 47 and died of a massive heart attack.How can that be?I miss him so much that I get physically ill,chest pains,back pains,nervous,worried,scared.I didn't know what purpose I even have in this life other than being around for my 2 practically grown kid's,but,my husband came to me in a dream and said that my purpose was to be of help to people,something I have always wanted to do,he even gave me the bible verse and I looked it up and there it was talking about doing good,If I had any doubt that it was my husband that had been talking to me in my head all doubt's are gone now!So I thank GOD that I can atleast talk to him that way.Sorry if it sound's crazy but it's true. I can't wait to be with him in heaven,but,I know I still have thing's to do here first.He sent me a song twice yesterday while I was in the car,a song by Vince Gill and I love that song,it's called Threaten Me With Heaven,it's so pretty and true. I just miss him so much and wnt him to be proud of me and to be waiting on me when I finally get there.