Just Breathing.....

Well, for once there's really nothing new going on.  Of course, daily life brings the usual trails and tribulations....and what kind of wonderful person would I be if I didn't have something to complain about LOL  I suppose for the most part I'm liking the fact that I can breath for a few months as I don't have to go back to Walter Reed until April for yet another MRI....they say if this one doesn't change from the last they'll make the one after this for 6 months out.....better than 3 months :)  I see my specialist next week (I think it's next week) and I seriously hope they do something about this Lactulose problem.  Once again my dose has not been changed and I'm still on the higher dose and everyone who takes this vile drug knows what that means....there are days when I don't fee like leaving the house because my stomach is in such turmoil and other days I dread even eating because I get so bloated.  Of course the wonderful doc can always lower it again, pending more blood work then just when I get used to the lower dose I'll go back to see him and he'll raise it again.  It makes me want to scream......grrrrrr!!!  The positive thing is that I've started (ok, well sort of) going back to the gym.  I'm doing a little bit at a time but at least I'm doing a small amount on the treadmill and it helps....it improves my mood a bit though it makes me more tired than I usually am, and honestly at this point I didn't think that was possible.  I'm starting to get cabin fever though with all of this cold weather.  I can't sit outside with my cats and my husband is working such long hours.  I try not to spend most of my day sleeping but sometimes that's all I can do.  I also get tired of criticism from people saying that I sleep because I'm bored or because I have no ambition.  If they only knew how much ambition I actually have.....I'd put them to shame if I could use it.  In the long run what they think doesn't really matter too much to me but it gets old, hearing it over and over again.  My family is understanding and my mother, God bless her, is always asking how I feel and telling me to just do what I can.  I told her the other day that I thought I was getting sick and she said..."sick??  what kind of sick??? should you call your doctor???"  I assured her it was just a little cold but she's still skeptical :)  My husband is still insisting that I go see my doctor for every little thing but he doesn't realize that if I did that I'd live at the doctor's office.  If I get a cold, I rest and let it go it's course....if I'm tired, I know it's just part of all of this and I deal with it.  My younger brother has taken to calling me quite often.  He's a long-haul truck driver and calls when he has long breaks between loads of when he has to drive late at night and I don't mind the phone coversations.  He's so goofy he makes me laugh but always he asks how I'm doing and feeling and makes me promise that I'll let someone know if I don't feel "quite right".  What can I say to that except, yes....I promise.  So that's the latest here in my little world.  The cats have gone crazy and I think they're taking me with them.  It's actually sort of cute because at night, especially when my husband isn't home overnight, they come and lay down curled right up against my stomach....it's like they know that it hurts and they want to make it better.  Honestly, on nights when I'm here alone I couldn't ask for anything more than a furry little purring body curled up next to me and lucky for me, I have three furry little bodies to show me how much they love me :)  I give up trying to cuddle with my husband, he just tosses and turns too much and it's hard enough for me to get comfy without all that!  I guess  the up side of that is that I can liken it to being seasick and have now figured out that if we ever take a cruise together I will be just fine with the swaying of the ship.  Now that I've lost my mind I'm going to grab a cat, or maybe 3, put in a Golden Girls DVD and hope to get a bit of rest before I drive hubby to work at 5 am. HUGS and LOVE