just as i feared

He hit me... Again....And this time my sis was there and she went all crazy after she heard him hit me....ooo i hate writing this...It feels like im trashing his name. BUt i just gotta let it out....Just admit it....Im soo tired of pretending to be this happy family when im not....You know, hes such a great guy, but his habits blind him. He actually asked me why cant i see his a good guy after i told him i want out...I was like , Honey, i know you are an awesome guy. That is why i fell in love with you. YOu were NOT like this. You did NOT show this side of yourself to me. I always tell my Dad how a great guy you are, even though he never believed me deep down inside. He believed me cause he knew that would make hi daughter happy. And now, after my sister phoned my dad at 12 AM, he want to hurt you cause you hurted me. I cried over the phone when i was speaking to my dad : DAd, He is a good guy. He did not mean it. He was just a lil tipsy and he and My sis had a fight cause he was making a joke with her.".....Even though he said to me last night, it was true feelings.....I guess thats what alcohol does to a person.Truth serum....I feel dead all over BUT i gotta be strong for my daughters sake. She saw too much, cried to much, is tooo restless during the night and only sleeps knowing im ok next to her.....This is my mom and dad senario all over again. 7 Year old girl hiding in the closet because daddy and mommy is fighting and hurting each other again.....LIke i mentioned , my dad changed for the good. And i love him soo much and my mom too....I just dont know what to do. If i leave Chris, i have to go to my dad. He said he'll take care of me and lil one. I dont have to work , even if i am worrying of my new job.... What about tianna''s other granny? Chris's mom. She will be devastated if i had to move an hours drive away. She is such a wonderfull person. She even said Lil one and i can live in her house. But i cant. His dad just came outta hospital and this is the lst thing he needs... I will hurt sooo many people if i make this move to Hermanus by my dad on the farm. Yet i will stay unhappy, or will i? My dad is afraid his forgiving daughter will fall for the sweet talk of the guy he hates now.What do i do.........Future is soo dull and im sooo scared.....I have to stay happy for Tianna. She should NOT go through what i did go through!Chris will be devastated to only see her weekends.....
I think i can make this ok, But then chris needs to trust me......i dont think i would have any warm feelings for him but we'll just have to see ........So does this mean im staying? You ask me, WWJD? He did come to earth to save the lost. HSould i stay too?
I think i would only feel peace with a dissicion if Chris tells me now, lets give this time out...Would make things so much beter and easier for me. ( Think he said it a couple of times- easier said than done......Cant let go).....

Replies

broken2011
broken2011

Chrissy ur in an abusive relationship. What he\'s doing to u is not out of love. U have to open ur eyes and realize this is not healthy for u and ur daughter. Stop making excuses for him. Listen to ur family that love u unconditionally and move out to ur parents. U need help and counseling to break away from this abusive relationship. My prayers are with u
deleted_user
deleted_user

Many hugs to you darlin, I know how hard it is to leave an abusive relationship, just remember your beautiful lil one would rather come from a broken home, then live in a broken home!! I pray you find the strength you need! Theres always an ear hear to listen if you ever want to rant or talk! Stay strong, you deserve so much better!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Chrissy,
I know this is hard and I commend you for looking for help. This is coming from a child who lived in an abusive home for more than half their childhood and then lived with my mother, your daughter will thank you for walking away. I dont know if this will help, but think of it this way. If your daughter in 15 years called you and said, \"My husband smacked me in front of my child\", what would you tell her to do? Right now you are teaching your daughter how to be a woman and right now you are teaching her that it is okay to stay with a man that hits you. I\'m not trying to be cruel....but dont think of it in terms of your daughter hurting, think of it as you are prepping her not to make the same mistakes you have. You are showing her that it is okay to be happy, loved and to stand up for herself. You can do this. I know its scary, and I know its tough, but you have support and love and you can do this!
Nicki