just as i feared

He hit me... Again....And this time my sis was there and she went all crazy after she heard him hit me....ooo i hate writing this...It feels like im trashing his name. BUt i just gotta let it out....Just admit it....Im soo tired of pretending to be this happy family when im not....You know, hes such a great guy, but his habits blind him. He actually asked me why cant i see his a good guy after i told him i want out...I was like , Honey, i know you are an awesome guy. That is why i fell in love with you. YOu were NOT like this. You did NOT show this side of yourself to me. I always tell my Dad how a great guy you are, even though he never believed me deep down inside. He believed me cause he knew that would make hi daughter happy. And now, after my sister phoned my dad at 12 AM, he want to hurt you cause you hurted me. I cried over the phone when i was speaking to my dad : DAd, He is a good guy. He did not mean it. He was just a lil tipsy and he and My sis had a fight cause he was making a joke with her.".....Even though he said to me last night, it was true feelings.....I guess thats what alcohol does to a person.Truth serum....I feel dead all over BUT i gotta be strong for my daughters sake. She saw too much, cried to much, is tooo restless during the night and only sleeps knowing im ok next to her.....This is my mom and dad senario all over again. 7 Year old girl hiding in the closet because daddy and mommy is fighting and hurting each other again.....LIke i mentioned , my dad changed for the good. And i love him soo much and my mom too....I just dont know what to do. If i leave Chris, i have to go to my dad. He said he'll take care of me and lil one. I dont have to work , even if i am worrying of my new job.... What about tianna''s other granny? Chris's mom. She will be devastated if i had to move an hours drive away. She is such a wonderfull person. She even said Lil one and i can live in her house. But i cant. His dad just came outta hospital and this is the lst thing he needs... I will hurt sooo many people if i make this move to Hermanus by my dad on the farm. Yet i will stay unhappy, or will i? My dad is afraid his forgiving daughter will fall for the sweet talk of the guy he hates now.What do i do.........Future is soo dull and im sooo scared.....I have to stay happy for Tianna. She should NOT go through what i did go through!Chris will be devastated to only see her weekends.....
I think i can make this ok, But then chris needs to trust me......i dont think i would have any warm feelings for him but we'll just have to see ........So does this mean im staying? You ask me, WWJD? He did come to earth to save the lost. HSould i stay too?
I think i would only feel peace with a dissicion if Chris tells me now, lets give this time out...Would make things so much beter and easier for me. ( Think he said it a couple of times- easier said than done......Cant let go).....