Just another update

Ok, the every 2 month/holiday thing is getting scary.  He texted me Saturday morning.  Wanted to see me.  I said no but his charm won me over.  I kept thinking /hoping that he was dying to see me and be with me.  He even said please.  When I got there he immediately grabbed me and started kissing me. Which led to more kissing and then, more kissing.  He didn't want to stop kissing me.  Even when we decided that it was time to do the freak-nasty, he pulled me up face to face and kissed me more.  He told me that next time we are together it will be a better situation for both of us since things weren't going as expected.  We talked a few and as we were leaving he kissed me on the lips really strongly and when I went to say something, pulled me into another kiss.  I tried one more time, and the same thing happened. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE kissing his sexy lips.  They turn me on real bad! I just didn't want to leave them or him.  I told him that I would see him in 2 months between Christmas and New Years and he said that I would hear from him before then.  I hope that things aren't working out for him and her and that the chance that we could get back together is weighing in my favor.  I know I was told that he would not be ready to come back until after the first of the year.  The psychic was right about everything so far.  I hope that seeing me made him want to come back and be the better person that I know he is.  He even said that his life is out of control and he doesn't know what to do about it.  He lost his job and will lose the jeep soon.  Am I still the rock, the positive light in his life?  Does he want to see me in order to stay slightly grounded.  I can't believe its only about the sex.  He can have anyone that he wants, even though he is cheating on her.  He can't love her if he is doing that to her.  If he loved her, he would be faithful.  And I also dont think that he is using me to get back at her for any disagreement they are having or any wrong doing that she did to him.  I could be totally wrong though.  I just want my Spanky- my baby back!  I told him I wanted him and he said "Come get me then".  He is so thoughful and caring sometimes and it reminds me of why I fell in love with him so much.  I know I should stay totally away but I can't. He is my future hopefully and I want to spend any time with him that I can.  I guess I'm just hoping that my love will be enough to bring him back to me. Only time will tell.