just another dissapointment

Well two of my sisters left me yesterday....i am so tired of everyone leaving me and nobody staying....what more can i take.....i have had so many people tell me they will never leave me but then thats excatly what they go and do. my mom said she wouldnt leave me and then she did...i friggin hate my life...everyone keeps telling me that my whole family abandoning me is not my fault but i am the only one in foster care out of 10 of us...i mean seriously. when will i finally find some one who loves me and wont leave me?    I actually had some one who would but i got scared that he would stop loving me just like everyone else so i cheated on him...and i didnt do it cos i am a slut but because i was so frigging freaked out....and in the end i lost him for good..what hurts even more is he calls me all the time just to insult me and make me feel even worse. but he not a bad guy...appaently i was the first girl he fell in love with and i fucked him over...for good..last week i had to go to a rehab center cos i was so depressed. i would cry my self to sleep every night and i was always calling him just to hear his voice. he has been skipping school since i got out and i am so tired of it. and i am so afraid that he will fall in love with another girl and he wont ever love me again even though i dont blame him...why do i always fuck up?-scenequeen-