Just Angry.... Just Tired

Just angry and tired. This is the 3rd wkend my mother has called me with a "crisis"... The first weekend I was at the lake and she left FRANTIC messages on my phone. I understand... it was a bad situation... but I was at the lake and our phones were in the car while we paddle boarded. So I didn't come to the rescue that weekend. The following weekend, it was something else. I got a phone call and I dropped everything right then and there, packed my bags and went and stayed 3 days.... "I thought you said you were going to stay longer????" she whined as I walked out the door. 

It's never enough.

Then again THIS weekend... her doctor is wanting her to go see a gynocologist. WHY? to save her own practice license... they refer refer refer to keep from getting sued. It's a racket. It makes me so mad. I told her I did not want to drive 200 miles when she could go to a gynolcologist in the town 30 miles away. It doesn't make sense to me... when it's not even serious. omg. 

She gets this way every single summer... just needy and emotional and crappy bc she sleeps all day.... stays up all night... doesn't take her medication right, doesn't eat right / and she is a diabetic ... she doesn't take care of herself, won't get dressed for days... and then calls NEEDING ME... when she won't even take care of her own damn self. It makes me mad. She expects others to take care of her.... But she's been this way all her life.... I've taken care of her so many times.

I comforted HER before I went into surgery. Seriously.

I comforted HER while I went thru a nervous breakdown in the hospital... "I just don't know if I can take this.... " she said while I sat in a hospital room... omg. REALLY? 

I'm just tired. And I'm just angry. I don't WANT to take care of another adult who will not take care of themselves and expects me to take care of MYSELF AND THEM. I have RA and CFS. It's just not fair.

And I refuse. I'm too tired.