Just a little ticked off
I was walking through my house today when my right arm started to do it's own thing again. It does this all the time. It will shoot up over my head often..or shoot straight out..or just make small circles while I'm walking. I think that it began as a sort of a balancing maneuver but it has taken on a life of its own and has no no sense of proportion. Lord help me if I get stressed or excited. Then both arms start to flail about a bit. I must look like I'm trying to fly. I have full control when I give the arm a job but when I'm just walking around my right arm starts to freelance. To add injury to insult, when my arm shot up it was hit by the blade of my ceiling fan. Only my pride was hurt but still...argggh!When the arm shot up over my head today I just got angry and frustrated. I went off by myself so that I wouldn't lash out at someone. Of course this caused me to cough which pissed me off all the more. It took me awhile to chill out and get my breathing back to what passes for normal these days. It does me no good to get too emotional because one thing sets off another thing and then I have problems.But I have to say that I was overwhelmed because I'm tired of poorly controlled asthma, I'm tired of being unsteady on my feet, I'm tired of my arms flapping about ...and I'm tired of not working. They can keep their stupid disability...I'm used to being an active guy. My mind thinks that I still am...and I'm going to continue to fight...but this sucks!!! ...whew...sorry.Actually today may have been a little helpful. I feel better about things. Maybe I have kept a lid on things too long. In any event I feel better now.What's puzzling is that the involuntary arm movement is not symptomatic of Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. However my balance issues are. Oh well, that's why the neurologist gets paid the big money. Sorry for the rant (but not so sorry that I didn't subject you to it) but I do feel better. I was just surprised at how angry I was about things. Thanks for allowing me to vent a bit. Be well,Tom
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